


New Yorkers

by frenchpirate (Whiskey_n_speed)



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, High School, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 18:30:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whiskey_n_speed/pseuds/frenchpirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was definitely like a small town or the warehouse parties or the dirty lake, you got used to them and then they grew on you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Yorkers

When you’d only ever spent your lazy summer days in the suburban neighborhoods and miles and miles of boring field and forest that made out Belleville, it wasn’t that bad after all. Sure, if I had been from somewhere else where they had a beach instead of a dirty lake populated with far too many mosquitos and some sort of bigger city instead of the same old record store and gas station shop that hadn’t changed the last 30 years, I might have hated it here, but I grew up in this place and I was used to it by now.

Or as used to it as you got, at least. To be honest, I could still get sick now and then from the everlasting gossip that comes with any town this size where everybody knows everybody, and the same old parties, Friday after Friday at the old warehouse that wasn’t used anymore for storing anything but drunken teenagers in drunken cockfights over who had the better car or the sluttier girlfriend. But then again, that was how it worked up here, and you got used to it with the years.

My brother never went to any of those parties, but he was never your stereotype high school student either. Actually he was everything opposite of that, which was basically why he’d always stayed home as long as I even remembered, hibernating in his nasty basement room and avoiding all kinds of human interaction. I knew why he did that though; he looked weird, acted weird and sometimes he smelled weird too, and if there’s anything that muscular high school football players with ego issues love mocking and/or beating up more than a quiet kid that basically is the definition of weird, I haven’t discovered it yet. He just played it safe and stayed home, not risking any bloody noses or damaged dignities.

It wasn’t like I was completely acceptable-looking either, I just for whatever reason wasn’t the target of bullying at my school, I had never been and I hoped I wasn’t going to ever be. Maybe it was just because I wasn’t exactly as weird as my brother, and I didn’t spend all of my breaks alone like he did when he went here. I had Brendon, and though he was a dork and overdramatic and talked an awful lot, he was my friend, and he went with me to the dumb parties and drank with me in the corner of the warehouse while watching people get into fist fights or bang each other wherever and wherever, like the bunch of hillbillies they could easily go for. Sometimes I felt like I was the only sane person around here, god dammit.

I’d had my brother to be sane with, until last summer where he’d hurried off to college and left me alone here in this place that I had gotten used to and could easily live with for the next few years I had to spend here, but still was sort of tired of. He had been busy doing his art and becoming Cool and Edgy College Artist Gerard instead of Creepy High School Gerard, and I guess I was happy for him being as excited as he was about college, but I still missed our talks around dinner table and endless gaming nights, whining about all the idiots they bred in this place. It just wasn’t the same thing with Brendon, as good-hearted as he was; he wasn’t the smartest thing to ever walk on two legs. But I guess it worked as well as it could, and that was enough for me.

And no matter how claustrophobic your home town can make you at times, you just can’t help but feel that very life assuring relief when you’re finished with the last class of the year and the teachers let’s all the students out in the sun like wild and impatient animals. And that was basically also how everyone acted in the first couple of days after school had ended. Like fucking beasts.

There was so much drinking and partying and random fucking that after a week or so I just gave up on wanting to go anywhere near any of my schoolmates, well except Brendon, for another good amount of time. Now I would just wait for Gerard to come home for the summer, lying around in the house, maybe go down to the lake with Brendon or something, just to get some variation in the days that would probably be exactly as the ones last year.

I’d missed Gerard like fuck, and it would be great to see him again, sigh and lean against his shoulder, bitch about everyone and everything like I’d always do and just have Gerard listen, then smoke some joints and hear him out about how college were while hanging around in the basement.

‘’’

A couple of days later he’d announced his arrival and I was fucking excited to be honest. I was waiting for him in the living room, not really watching whatever was playing on the TV-screen, and the smile grew on my face as I heard the car pull into the driveway and turn off.

My mom was in the kitchen, making some sort of dinner that would beat any lukewarm microwave-food Gerard had eaten this year in lack of anything better. She knew how college was, she’d been there herself, and hadn’t forgotten how neither that nor high school worked out. Actually, unlike just about any other parent I had ever heard of, she hadn’t completely forgotten how it was to be young, and that made her a lot cooler than I sometimes gave her credit for.

Gerard didn’t bother with taking his shoes off or anything, he wandered right into the living room and I got up and hugged him tightly. It was fucking great to see him again, it hadn’t been since spring break he’d been around, and of course I talked to him on the phone now and then, but there was nothing like having my big brother back home for the whole summer.

And as I let go of him, I definitely noticed something about his face. It wasn’t something obviously noticeable like he’d gained weight or got a tan or anything like that, no. Maybe it was just excitement about being back home and having an actual meal for the first time in god knows how long and getting rid of the tiny homesick feeling I knew he always had no matter where he was and all that, but it probably wasn’t. I mean, his face was basically beaming and there was definitely something up. I’d have to hear him out about that later, but I’d give him a minute to reunite with mom first and get something to eat.

‘’’

Gerard denied that anything was different when I first asked him about it, but considering how lousy he is at keeping anything secret from me, I’d found out in about 10 minutes that something was indeed up and that something was named Frank and was a short, tattooed guitarist of some aggressive post-punk band from New York.

“So, Gee, how long have you been boning this dude?” I asked when we had retreated back to the basement room that he still used when he was home since no one else really wanted it. I’d already jumped on the bed and made myself comfortable, waiting for Gerard to get the video game working. He was standing just inside the door, getting his cigarette lit before turning to plug in the game controllers and turn on the TV while giving me one of those Gerard-sighs. I was probably the person who got the most of those in the world, and I enjoyed each single one because that meant I still had the ability to make him roll his eyes and get annoyed with me.

“I’m not just boning him, Mikes. I really like him, actually, so much that I kind of invited him and one of his bandmates down here to see how much Belleville sucks compared to New York” he said without turning around from the TV. He didn’t have to; I knew he could feel my gaze. He was really becoming one of those snobbish big-city artists, now with actual snobbish big-city musician friends. And they were coming to visit us.

I didn’t know how I felt about that, maybe sort of like the city was a fort and these musician guys were invading it. And Gerard was the betrayer who let them into our little stronghold. Maybe I was just jealous because I didn’t get to have Gerard to myself this summer, but it still felt strange. Belleville was that kind of quiet town where nobody ever comes. People are born, raised and settled here, or they leave for something bigger as soon as they’re done with high school. I can’t remember the last time I saw someone around here that I hadn’t seen like every day for as long as I remember and know the life-story of, based on housewife gossip. It would be strange to see such a couple of New Yorkers wandering around here with whatever big-city attitude they had.

On the other hand, maybe I could convince them to go to one of the warehouse parties and see what would happen when everyone from high school noticed the couple of older musicians that had intruded their little Belleville-world, with their eyeliner and skinny jeans and gayness.

I didn’t know if Franks bandmate was gay, but I assumed he was, from what Gerard had told about New York, basically everyone he knew was gay. I don’t know if that’s because NY is a lot more queer-friendly than Belleville where no such thing as acceptance exists, or just because my brother chose to hang out with people as gay as himself.

“Cool, I guess, when will they get here?” I asked half-heartedly and Gerard joined me on his bed and handed me one of the controllers he was holding, the cigarette still hanging from his mouth.

“In another couple of days, they had a show to play and I wanted to spend some time with my geeky little brother and see if this place has changed at all while I’ve been gone” he said with a laugh and ruffled my hair. His dorky smile hadn’t changed a bit since I’d last seen him, and neither had this place.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Gee, it’s exactly the same” I said and sent him a little smile back while quickly straightening out my hair after he’d messed it up. Okay, so he’d always said I was obsessed with my hair, but hey, at least I wasn’t the one who wouldn’t shower for 3 days and then have my hair so greasy I didn’t even need hairspray to get it to stay where I wanted. That was Gerards thing, but he actually seemed rather clean right now. Maybe he’d shower more often after starting to date this Frank guy, or more likely, this was just a lucky day to be around him. It would take nothing less than a miracle to get Gerard to give a shit about personal hygiene. But on the other hand maybe Gerard getting laid regularly was a miracle. Then again, I’d heard that no matter how big of a loser you were in high school, there would be plenty of freaky college sex waiting for you on the other side.

And freaky college sex was definitely something to look forward to; I wasn’t the biggest Casanova in Belleville though I had been around the few emo chicks that went to my school, which was remarkably more than Gerard had gotten laid before he left this place, something I liked to bother him with on occasion. But it made me conclude that if even Gerard got laid in college, I could easily get too.

‘’’

The next couple of days I got a whole lot of bigotry built up, and it was possibly the whole mentality of the city when it came to strangers that had grown on me and made me a prejudging asshole. Gerard didn’t seem to notice anything though, he acted like he used to before he went off for college and for a while everything seemed like it had been our entire childhood. Gerard was lying around in the basement smoking pot and drawing and I’d join him and let him whine about being a bad influence for a while before he just handed over the joint and continued on his drawing while I put on a movie or played a game or something. He told a lot about college and everything that was different from here to New York, and I told whatever same old stuff there had been going on in Belleville while he hadn’t been here to keep himself updated.

Old Mrs. Warren from down the road had passed away and Bob Bryar had taken over the record shop from his dad now that he had graduated college, not that that made a huge difference, he’d been the one behind the counter most of the time anyways, and last but not least the neighbors little pain in the ass of a dog had been run over by some of the idiots from school, and that was about all that had happened this year. Exciting, I know.

‘’’

Okay, so I had been very jealous of Frank because he was now the main point of Gerards attention, and that was probably why I’d felt so bummed out about them coming here. I wasn’t that much of a suburban gossip-housewife that I’d be mad about strangers in the city; it was just my ego playing games with me. Gerard talked a lot about him, sometimes so much that he cut me off in a sentence and got carried away talking about how amazing Frank was. He also called him at night before he went to sleep. I was there the first time they were on the phone, minding my own business with the game controller on the floor, but suddenly I noticed that Gerard had lowered his voice a lot and almost whispered into his cell, and after catching a few of the words he’d said I’d hurried out of the room and continued to do that everytime his phone rang. Just like personal hygiene, Gerard definitely has issues with his personal life. Meaning he sometimes shares way too much of it, I am his brother after all.

We do talk about a lot of stuff, but oh God, there are certain things I do not need to hear him say to his boyfriend. He doesn’t seem to care that I hear it though, but I would definitely rather live without that sort of information.

Well, all these negative feelings sort of just washed away when I saw Frank the first time. Gerard had insisted that I came with him out on the porch to welcome them when Franks car pulled up the driveway and I could vaguely see silhouettes of him and his friend. I actually had forgot to get the other guy’s name, but in that moment I didn’t really care since I’d decided I didn’t like any of them particularly, and was just pouting with my arms crossed next to Gerard, who on the other hand looked like he was going to explode out of excitement.

As soon as the car held still, the driver’s door was torn up and something small and dark-haired stumbled out and raced over to cling to Gerard with a speed that I was sure broke all records for land movement. Gerard was almost knocked over when the guy who I assumed was Frank threw himself at him, and had to spread his arms out for a moment to keep his balance before gently wrapping them around Frank. The younger boy then looked up at my brother with a facial expression of pure horror and big round eyes that might as well had been those of a puppy. He looked on the verge of tears and I moved my eyes to Gerards face to see if he acted like this was normal behavior for Frank, but he actually seemed just as surprised as I did.

“Frankie, woah, what’s the matter?” he asked softly and Frank took a couple of deep breaths and blinked slowly. I watched the dramatic reunion with growing interest, though still with my arms crossed and a small frown.

“There was a spider in the car” he stuttered and his lip quivered a little. I frowned a little harder at his words, but it wasn’t like anyone was paying attention to me anyways, was that really it? A spider had caused this whole scene? I was about to point out that he was a little overdramatic when Frank continued talking. “Pete refused to remove it before we got here, and it almost fell on my head”

His voice got a little high pitched at the end of the sentence and then he just pressed his face against Gerards chest and stood like that for a while. I found myself raising my eyebrows and smiling a bit. Okay, he didn’t seem all bad, that Frank guy, it was actually slightly amusing how horrified he was because of a spider, and I decided to give him another chance since he actually seemed like he needed every ounce of Gerards attention to stop him from having a heart attack.

Then I heard a half-loud giggling behind me and spun around. I’d completely forgotten about the other guy in the whole Frank against spider drama on the porch. He was standing next to the passenger seat’s door with a smug grin, leaning against the car as he giggled. He wasn’t very tall either, with a dark brown fringe covering most of his forehead and a great amount of eyeliner around his eyes, which gave him some sort of resemblance with some of the emo girls from school who I’d banged most of last year, mostly just because I could.

He was also wearing a t-shirt so tight that it showed about every muscle in his torso, and pants so tight that they showed off everything else, and right now as he was leaning against the car, laughing over Franks sheer panic, his t-shirt had slipped up his belly and showed some tan skin and huge tattoo on his abdomen. There was definitely some homosexual going on here too, that was for sure.

When I was done inspecting they guy who must’ve been the Pete that Frank was freaking out over, I turned back to look at Frank and Gerard. I hadn’t got a good look at Frank before because he’d buried as much of himself as he could in Gerard, but now that my brother had comforted him enough to make sure there wasn’t any spiders around and he loosened his grip a bit, I took a look at Frank too.

He was even shorter than Pete, with a worn-out t-shirt and black jeans, some sort of half-bleached punk haircut going on and tattoos up and down his arms, along with a couple of facial piercings. New York had definitely arrived in Belleville today.

“It’s not funny Pete. You’re such a dick” Frank whined and made another one of his wide-eyes pouts at Pete who had stopped laughing but now was pressing his lips together in an attempt not to start again, which was probably just as bad.

“Oh yeah? It totally wasn’t just me. That guy was laughing too?” Pete said and pointed at me, and I suddenly got aware of the grin that had crept to my face while watching this whole thing, and I quickly frowned again and crossed my arms even tighter. That was totally not on purpose and I was not laughing at Frank at all. I had just – Okay, maybe I’d laughed a little at Frank but that wasn’t the point. Pete couldn’t just put the blame on me; he didn’t even know my name. Ugh.

I had decided to like Frank, but I was definitely doubting that I liked Pete at all. He seemed like a jerk. And there were jerks enough in my life without me having to live with one of them for the next long time.

‘’’

When it comes to not being beaten up at school and banging emo chicks and sneaking into concerts and getting pot from your brother, it’s pretty cool being me. When it comes to your brother going all guilt trip on you because he wants you to let his dumb friend sleep in your room so he can fuck his boyfriend all the time, it sucks being me. None the less I ended up saying yes, of course. Within a few hours actually. Because I’m nice as fuck and Gerard is a horny asshole. He even made Frank do puppy eyes at me. Frank can really do an impressive pair of puppy eyes, and it’s not really fair because I found out very quickly that you just don’t say no to that.

So Pete was going to sleep in my room, whether I liked it or not, and not only did I still think he was dumb but I’d also discovered that he talked an awful lot, made an awful lot of jokes and didn’t notice that he was the only one who laughed very loud at them. The only positive thing that could possibly come out of this was if he talked so much that I wouldn’t be able to hear my brother getting it on downstairs. But I could’ve done that by turning up one of my records too, I didn’t need Pete hanging around in my stuff to pretend I didn’t know what Frank and Gerard was doing.

‘’’

Of course Pete came strutting in with his bag thrown across his shoulder like he owned the damn place. Idiot. It was well past 2 am and I had retreated from the basement to my own room a few minutes ago when Gerard and Frank started getting all touchy-feely under Gerards comforter, giggling like a couple of lovestruck teenage girls, and I was really tired anyways. I was sitting in my bed with my laptop, not really focusing on anything but my own thoughts when Pete entered. It wasn’t like I had forgotten he was going to sleep here, I’d just sort of pushed it out of my head as the hours since this afternoon had passed and I had thought of other things.

Pete didn’t even knock, and I know that Gerard never in his life had knocked before entering my room either, but that was also different. That was Gerard, he was disoriented and in his own world where earthly rituals such as knocking wasn’t important, and I’d never questioned that, but when Pete did it, it was slightly annoying me. I didn’t know him at all; I’d spent half a day with him, that was it. What if I’d been doing, well, I don’t know, personal stuff?

I rolled my eyes and didn’t move from the bed when he entered, put his bag on the floor and looked around. I might just have squinted a little and returned to staring at the computer screen, and that was about the attention I intended on paying him. I had put a mattress on the floor for him to sleep on, which he sat down on. “Cool poster” he said and pointed to my wall. It was the Iron Maiden poster Gerard had given me a few years ago when every inch of his own walls had been covered with posters and drawings and photos of things he claimed was inspiration for his art and he hadn’t had space for it anymore.

“Thanks” I just murmured and hoped the conversation would sort of die out there and he would go to sleep so I wouldn’t have to deal with him. The four of us had spent the day in the basement, doing whatever, Gerard and Frank not letting go of each other more than the absolute necessary while Pete just kept talking and talking and talking. And of course he didn’t intend on stopping now, I wasn’t that lucky.

“So you’re into Iron Maiden? I saw them a couple of years ago, definitely worth it, I wanted to go with Frankie but he didn’t have the money, it was back when the band was pretty local and sucked, before we got our new drummer, so neither of us had a lot of cash” he said and I tried to tune him out and turn my attention back to MySpace and it worked somewhat successfully.

“I’m gonna go to bed” I cut him off after another ten minutes where he told some story about how he and Frank had been taken backstage to some local show because the bouncers thought they were in the band and I was really too tired to listen to him anymore. Though, he wasn’t as much of a jerk as I’d first expected him to be, he was just sort of annoying. He was that type of person you’d roll your eyes at a lot. And I did.

“Okay cool, I should probably get some sleep too. Any idea what we’re gonna do tomorrow, like, what do you spend your days on in small towns like this?” he said as I closed my laptop and took off my glasses to put them on the nightstand.

“I don’t know about you and the lovebirds downstairs, but I’m going to the record store” I told him as he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it at the side of the mattress. It didn’t look very elegant since his shirt was so tight that it got caught in his hair and messed it all up, but he didn’t seem to care. He grinned up at me at the word Record Store.

“Sweet, you have one of those here too? I’m totally up for that, man, couldn’t miss the chance to see if I can find some punk culture in this land of housewife gossip, prestige gardens and small-town mentality” he laughed and I just sighed. I wasn’t really going there to look at records, or not buy any of them at least, I didn’t have enough money for that. Which was actually why I was going there in the first place. I just had to hang around there for a few hours and get Bob Bryar to give me a job there so I could maybe earn some money to buy his records. I’d asked him about it basically since the beginning of high school, but he’d always said it wasn’t his decision since it was his dad’s shop, but now that he’d taken over I might be able to get him convinced.

“I suppose you’re not” I just said with a hint of sarcasm and turned around in my bed to face the wall as Pete started to pull off his pants. Apparently I was the only one around here with a sense of privacy.

“Uh” Pete’s voice sounded behind me after another moment of silence. “I sort of sleep naked, would that, um, bother you?” he asked and I could just feel this urge growing in me to throw myself out the window or something. Jesus fucking Christ, that dude did not have limits.

I sighed so loud that I was sure he’d hear it. “Uh, I guess not. Whatever floats your boat” I just mumbled and shut my eyes close. I just really wanted to sleep and not wake up tomorrow before Pete had woken up and put on some clothes.

Of course this was one of those nights where it took a while for me to fall asleep, and I just cringed when Pete started snoring and I swore to myself that this could not get any worse. But of course it could. As I lay there unable to sleep with a snoring, naked, Pete on the mattress next to me, a long moan crept through the floor from downstairs. And then another one. And another. Great, just fucking great. I’d really hoped I wasn’t gonna witness that, but this was apparently just not my day today.

‘’’

I woke up by the sound of someone entering my room, and for a second I was sure it was just Gerard who’d come to borrow a hoodie or something. Then I suddenly remembered everything from yesterday and who it was in my room and that he was possibly still naked. So I didn’t open my eyes just yet.

“Mikey?” he asked and I could hear him listen if I was awake.

“Mmpfh” I just said into the comforter. I wasn’t going to look at him before I was sure he was dressed. It was just not an option.

“Oh, you’re awake. It’s like almost noon, d’you wanna go downstairs and see if the others are awake?” he asked and I could hear him start to move around again.  
“Only if you’re wearing clothes” I said, sound muffled from talking into the comforter, and I could hear him break into laughter.

“I’m fully dressed, don’t worry, now let’s go” he said and I finally opened my eyes and sat up. I was still wearing my clothes from yesterday, since unlike Pete I had decency enough to not strip completely down in front of someone I’d known for less than 24 hours. I grabbed some clothes from my closet and changed in the bathroom before following Pete downstairs. His clothes looked exactly the same as yesterday except the shirt was a different color and his hair wasn’t styled so it was really messy, and he bounced down the stairs, humming lightly. It should be forbidden for someone to be this excited when I had just woken up.

When Pete had knocked the door to Gerards room about 30 times while I stood behind him with crossed arms, rolling my eyes, Frank opened it, looking like he was still half asleep and only in his boxers. I almost choked on the smell of sex when I entered and just stood in the corner awkwardly for a while. I couldn’t really throw myself on the bed as I’d normally do since Gerard was still in it and I’d bet every dollar I owned that he wasn’t wearing underwear right now. He just scratched his hair that was just as messy as Franks and Petes combined and sent a dorky and sort of apologetic smile in my direction with a small shrug. Was I literally the only person here who liked wearing clothes around other people?

“Woah, someone was getting it on in here last night. It smells like a whorehouse all the way up the stairs” Pete laughed and Frank blushed a little. “How many times did you guys even do it?”

“Not enough” Gerard said and wiggled his eyebrows at Frank with a grin. Frank kept on blushing. I sighed and rolled my eyes, again. It seemed that I had done that so many times these past 24 hours that if I did it just once more my eyeballs would fall out of my skull.

“Well get dressed, me and Mikey wanna go to the record store” Pete said and I didn’t like the way he said it, like we’d been up all night planning some sort of field trip out. I just had to charm Bob Bryar until he gave me a job and Pete was probably going to fall over from laughing at how little punk records we had in Belleville, and that was it. No field trip. Well not that anyone cared anyways, it was becoming like a returning phenomenon that I was sort of forgotten in this homoerotic drama that was Frank and Gerards reunion, after a whole 3 painful days of separation. But then again I wasn’t really sure how much of this I really wanted to be a part of.

Frank put his clothes on and Gerard very ungracefully tried to hang over the edge of the bed to look for his underwear while keeping the comforter around him to not flash his junk to the rest of us. After a while he just gave up and asked Frank to hand him his clothes and got dressed too. I waited patiently in my corner while Pete was practically bouncing off the walls, randomly opening drawers and picking up stuff just to put it down again. He reminded me of a less hairy version of the Tasmanian devil from the cartoons I watched when I was a kid.

When they had gotten themselves to look like someone who didn’t just have sex, I headed up the stairs and Frank and Gerard followed me, Pete in the back since he had to put back the sketchbook he’d picked up and flipped through first.

“Frank?” I heard him smirk from the bottom of the stairs. “Please tell me that is not semen in your hair”

“What?” Frank said and spun around to look at Pete, halfway up the stairs while me and Gerard was already at the top. This violent urge to roll my eyes again came creeping in on me again, but I couldn’t help but giggle under my breath as Franks hand flew to his hair and his eyes went wide, as he just stood there for a moment like he was contemplating what to say. He didn’t get to say anything though, before Pete continued.

“I’d really thought you were a swallower, Frankie” he said with ironic disappointment, while Frank just proceeded to shrug with a grimace, wipe his hand off on the wall beside him and continue up the stairs. I reminded myself to never touch anything in Gerards room ever again.

‘’’

We arrived at the record store about half an hour later, after Frank had made sure his hair was sperm-free and done the puppy eyes at me once again until I let him ride shotgun and took the backseat of Gerard’s car with Pete.

Bob was slouching over the counter, reading a comic book when we entered, but looked up with a raised eyebrow when he saw Frank and Pete. He didn’t say anything though, just nodded at me and Gerard and returned to his comic.

Pete and Frank disappeared off to the back of the store where whatever punk records Bob had at the moment was stored, and Gerard followed them after looking through the new stuff after a while. I made my way to the counter and Bob turned his head at me.

“Who are those dudes even?” he asked with a grin in their direction.

“From New York. Gees boyfriend and his bandmate” I explained and Bob nodded.

“Well, they don’t exactly fall in with the crowd, to say the least” he added after shooting another glance in their direction. I nodded and followed his gaze. I couldn’t hear what they were saying when they were in the other end of the store, I just saw Frank and Gerard kiss each other while Pete was focusing on picking up a stack of cassette tapes he’d knocked over. When he noticed that neither Frank nor Gerard immediately kneeled down to help him, he looked up and noticed what they were doing and frowned. He then proceeded to yank Franks jeans and disturb their kiss until they turned their attention to him with annoyed looks.

“They look like the beginning of a bad porno I wish I hadn’t watched” Bob commented and I dragged my eyes from the scenery in the back of the records store and back to Bob. His point of view could be slightly disturbing but never the less he was almost always right. And though he was strange in that quiet, light psychotic way, he was totally one of the coolest persons I knew.

“I bet you got off to it anyways” I said and he just shrugged.

“I am only human” he muttered that special tone of voice that he mastered, where you would have no idea whether he was serious or not because his face revealed absolutely nothing. He then pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one up. There was a “No Smoking” sign next to the front door that Bobs dad had put up somewhere back in the beginning of time when he’d bought this place, but since it was Bob’s store now, he didn’t bother with going outside anymore.

“Why’d you even watch that shit anyways?” I asked, partly just to say something, partly because it genuinely confused me. Bob was about as straight as anyone still within the years of hormones going apeshit got, as far as he’d told at least but what do I know. He just frowned a little as if he was thinking.

“I don’t know, it was there, I was bored I guess” he said and blew smoke in my face. I coughed and nodded. That was a relatively valid reason. And after all it was Bob we were talking about. He was strange.

About 20 minutes later, when I’d casually slipped into the conversation that I really needed a job; the bad porno from the other end of the store approached us. Bob put out his cigarette on the counter, leaving a small burnt mark in the wood. I was completely sure he had understood my hints about hiring me, but his face still didn’t drop a single clue about what he was thinking.

“I’m hungry as fuck, let’s eat something” Pete whined and rubbed his stomach excessively when they’d reached the counter.

“There’s a pizzeria just down the street, we could-” Gerard suggested but didn’t get any further because Pete was already on his way out the door, quickly followed by the Frank and then Gerard after a moment. I nodded Bob goodbye, hoping for the best, and headed after the other guys outside.

Gerard and Pete had gone inside to get the pizzas while me and Frank sat on the few steps outside the door. He had a smoke hanging from the corner of his mouth and had his sleeves rolled up in the summer heat, which showed off his colorful tattoos. He handed me the crumbled pack that he’d kept in his back pocket and I took one, it didn’t do anything good for my asthma and I didn’t usually smoke, but why not. Or as Bob would’ve said it; it was there. That was actually a really good excuse for doing things, and I reminded myself to remember using it sometime in the future.

Frank handed me his lighter and lit up. It was a long while since I’d smoked the last time, but I quickly got used to the harsh feeling in my lungs. My last girlfriend, fuckbuddy, whatever she’d been had smoked like the chimney of a large factory and she’d tasted like an ashtray and I’d figured that if I smoked too it wouldn’t be as bad, so I did.

“So, what’s it like in New York, like, living there?” I asked Frank, and he gave me a thoughtful look, taking a drag of his cigarette and blowing the smoke upwards before answering. I tried to do the same but it definitely looked less elegant.

“I haven’t lived there all my life, y’know. I moved there with my mom just before high school, before that I lived in a city pretty much like this one, so I know what it’s like. I guess New York’s cool, but occasionally it makes you fell small, like, there are so many people that nothing you do really matters. Pete had a theory that if you ran naked down the street, nobody would remember it the next week, unlike places like here where you’d get remembered forever like the freaky naked runner. And he was right” Frank explained, the last sentence drowning a little in a giggle.

“Wait, he actually ran naked down the street?” I asked with slight disbelief. He really seemed to have a thing about being naked.

“Well, he was drunk, but yeah. And nobody remembered it the next week” Frank laughed. “He has a habit of testing limits a lot, sometimes almost dying and stuff like that, I roomed with him for a couple of years, he had an apartment and I needed one, so you get used to it I guess” he continued. He was probably right, once I got used to Pete I’d probably be less annoyed with him than I was with him at the moment, maybe Frank had even been just as annoyed with him in the beginning. Maybe it was just like with this city, if you stayed around it long enough, it kind of grew on you, no matter how shitty it could be.

“So, tell me, how long did it take you to get used to the whole sleeping-naked thing he does?” I asked, once again trying to blow smoke out gracefully and ended up coughing. Frank patted my back with a giggle, and looked at me with a cocked eyebrow.

“What sleeping-naked thing?” he asked and I frowned.

“Y’know. He sleeps naked”

“No he doesn’t. Not when he’s with me anyways” Frank said and his giggle got a little louder. “Did he really sleep naked with you? Hah, that’s just because he’s totally hot for you, he just wants to show off his junk”

I just sat there for a while, squinting at Frank to find out if he was bullshitting me. He didn’t seem like it, but on the other hand I didn’t know him very well. Maybe that was how people from New York made jokes, but then again he wasn’t really from New York.

I didn’t even know what confused me the most, what he’d said, or the casual way he’d said it, like I was no big deal that the guy I was sharing a room with for the next two weeks or so took of all his clothes on purpose because he wanted to bone me.

I sat like that, pondering, for so long that I forgot about the cigarette and first got reminded that I had surroundings when it was done and it burned my fingers. I shook my head lightly, threw the butt and looked at Frank.

“What?” I just said, still processing what he’d said.

“He told me yesterday, like, not very long time after we’d gotten here, you were in the bathroom or something. He thinks you’re cute, and that’s probably why he wanted to get naked last night. He kind of counts on you to find out he’s cute too” he explained while I didn’t stop squinting.

“But what if I don’t think he’s cute? Dude, I’m not even gay” I said and I could feel myself getting slightly frustrated. This was definitely a sudden turn of events which I had not expected, and I didn’t really know how to handle it.

“To be honest with you Mikey, I don’t really think Pete’s the one to be concerned about details like that” he confessed with a smirk.

“Is there anything he is concerned about?” I asked sarcastically. If running naked down his street didn’t concern him, and wanting to fuck people of the opposite sexuality didn’t either, there couldn’t be much left to bother him. I mean, those two things would definitely bother me, a whole lot.

“Dunno. Not much. Thunder”

“Thunder, what?” I frowned and just felt more and more disoriented the further we got into the conversation, possibly because I was sinking deeper and deeper into my mind, not really listening anymore.

“Thunder scares the crap out of him. I don’t really know why, he never told me, he just panics whenever it happens. Once we had these really huge storms in New York and he forced me to sleep in his bed for like, a week or something” Frank said but I’d really stopped listening by now. He kept on talking for a while though I had retreated to my own thoughts, because woah, what the fuck?

‘’’

We went home to the basement and ate the pizzas, sitting in a circle on Gerards floor with each our box, and the other three were joking around and whatever, while I was quiet and in deep thought. I noticed that Frank sent me a halfway concerned, halfway amused look once in a while, but the rest of the meal was kind of a blur to me. I was far too deep buried in thinking about what I was supposed to do, like, just let the thing slip? Hope it passed and pretend me and Frank hadn’t talked about it today. Or confront Pete about it, tell him this wasn’t going to be a thing and then just hope he wouldn’t hate me or what?

Maybe it wasn’t all bad that I’d missed out on the conversation the others had been having over lunch because when I finally decided to just try and ignore the fact Pete wanted to bang me and kind of expected me to want to bang him back, it had fallen on blowjobs. One topic that I knew basically nothing about and didn’t really feel like listening to my brother talking about. I did though, because I didn’t want to leave either and after all it was better than the constant thought of Pete that had haunted me ever since outside the pizzeria.

“Pete, no, you have to keep eye contact and like, make it as passionate as possible. It makes them go crazy if you seem like you enjoy it too” Gerard said with a lecturing hand movement and Pete, who’d sat back against the drawer with the empty box next to him, just shook his head.

“Don’t be such a girl, man, just go for it, take it as deep as possible and swallow the load. The whole thing about it is that the more you act like a pornstar the more it seems like you are one” he explained and Gerard sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, whatever. I wouldn’t expect anything else from you”

“Hey, what do you mean, asshole” Pete said with a grin and reached for the nearest thing to throw at Gerard, which happened to be a half empty pack of cigarettes. Gerard instantly opened it and when Frank snatched it out of his hand as soon as he’d got one out, he tried with very little effort to get it back before giving up and looking through his pockets for a lighter.

“I’m just saying, you’d have experience enough in cocksucking to qualify as a pornstar” he said when he’d got the smoke lit. He sent a cocked eyebrow in my direction when Frank threw the pack at me after getting one for himself. “And since when do you smoke, Mikes?”

“Since I got offered free cigarettes” I just shrugged while Pete was trying to look offended next to me, without much success, since his whole existence basically beamed that he took Gerards comment as a compliment.

“What do you think, Frankie, Mikes?” Pete asked and Frank just shrugged. I didn’t know what to say, it wasn’t like my count of blowjobs given ranged over anything more than zero.

“Whatever the situation leads to. Passionate is good, but pornstar works too” Frank said and then shut up and looked at me, quickly joined by the two others. Or well, Pete and Frank mostly, I highly doubt Gerard didn’t know about my lack of experience on this subject.  
They definitely expected me to say something, but I wasn’t really sure what. “Uh, I don’t… I don’t really, ehm” I just started and then Frank sort of saved me by laughing.

“I don’t think Mikey really touches other dicks than his own” he informed Pete and I could feel my cheeks burning. God dammit, this was like 5th grade all over again where you’d brag about who had kissed the most girls, except I was 16 and we were talking about sucking dick. But I was the loser in both cases.

“I sort of, uh, don’t do dicks” I muttered and this felt way too embarrassing considering that I was actually confessing that I was straight. Relatively. Whatever.

“But you’ve never even just done it because, dunno, you wanted to try it? Experimenting, anything?” Pete asked and it looked like his facial expression was pure confusion and slight disbelief. I shook my head. It wasn’t like Belleville High School was the place where you just sucked some guy’s dick because you wanted to experiment and then wasn’t remembered for the rest of your life as a faggot. Which was probably also why Gerard didn’t officially come out until after he graduated, though it was so obvious that he might as well just have written it on his forehead or something. Maybe you did that kind of stuff in New York, but that was so far from Belleville it could possibly be and nobody even noticed if you ran naked down the street, apparently.

“Woah” Pete just continued and he looked like he had a really hard time wrapping his head around what I’d just stated. “You’re really missing out on something, kid. Like, woah” and Frank and Gerard just sort of awkwardly shrugged and nodded in silence. I sighed, thinking I really needed to get out of this place, call Brendon and go get high or something. I was so done with all this sucking dick business, I’d leave that for the homosexuals here.

So I did, I excused myself, went up the stairs and called Brendon. About an hour later we were sitting on my bed and he was rolling a joint since I’d never really bothered to learn that. I didn’t get high a lot but it happened occasionally, mostly with Brendon and Gerard when he was home. It amused me how Gerard was sure I was dependent on him and his pot and always complained about how much of a bad influence he was, like I wouldn’t just go and call Brendon if he denied me to smoke with him one day. But I guessed he felt some sort of twisted responsibility by thinking he had that power, so I didn’t tell him.

“What’s up man, you sounded really flustered on the phone” Brendon asked as soon as he’d got the joint lit and handed it over to me.

“Yeah, some of Gee’s friends from New York are staying over here for a couple of weeks and I’ve only hung out with them for two days and I’m already, like, the weirdo for never having sucked dick and being straight” I whined and took another drag.

“Relatively” Brendon just said and nodded.

“What?”

“Never mind. So, why does it even bother you? Why don’t you just say you aren’t into it, or do it and get it over with, join the club” Brendon asked with a couple of halfhearted hand motions.

“I don’t know man” I said and reached out for the joint. I could already feel my head getting buzzy and my body relaxing. “It’s not like I feel like doing it, but then again it was weird today when they talked about it and I sort of just sat there”

“Well, then do it, you can always just never do it again if you don’t like it, and if you like it, then… Well, yeah. Then you like it” he said and didn’t seem like he was sure exactly what he was trying to get through. He’d always gotten high faster than me and it made for some amusement for me before I reached the same state as him.

“What do you even know about that?” I just asked with a sigh and took another drag.

I really hadn’t expected Brendon to just grin smugly at me, but he did. “Oh, you didn’t, did you?” I said and I could feel my mouth hanging open. Was I literally the only one here who had never sucked anyone off?

“Well it was just like, one time. This guy, Ryan came along and we just went out in the back of the warehouse and-“ he started with a giggle but I cut him off as I suddenly recalled that particular night.

“Wait, that was what you were doing? I was there, dude, I just thought you were smoking or something” I said and tried to look shocked but I ended up giggling too.

“Yeah, and it was just, y’know, okay. I mean it was weird and first but, I don’t know, I’d do it again. Maybe” he said and I just kept on giggling. “He seemed to like it, a lot”  
And suddenly when I had started laughing, I couldn’t really stop again. Brendon had put out the joint on the nightstand and was making another while he just stared at me with a smirk. It wasn’t until he’d gotten it lit and asked me what was so funny and I just kept on laughing that he cracked up too.

I don’t know for how long we sat like that, passing the joint between us in between laughing fits, but at some point I got really tired, and Brendon did too so he went home and I fell asleep.

‘’’

When I woke up it was dark outside and I was incredibly hungry. I wasn’t really sure if I was still high or not, but I probably was, I hadn’t slept for that long.

I got out of my bed and headed for the door, but halfway across the floor I tripped over something and almost fell head first into my desk.

“Mikey?” someone said and I realized the thing I’d tripped over was Pete, and he sounded like he’d been asleep. Okay, so maybe I had slept for a long time. I didn’t answer him instantly, I just pushed myself up into sitting position against the desk and tried to get a hold of where he was, but I couldn’t see anything, it was dark as fuck in here.

I heard him ruffling around and shut my eyes close as the light suddenly was turned on. After a couple of seconds I opened them and saw him by the door, his hand on the switch with the comforter wrapped around his waist. So he was naked, again, and he looked at me with concern.

“Are you oka-“ he started but cut himself off. “Dude, your eyes. Are you high?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Probably” I just muttered and it felt like my room was spinning. I was definitely still high. I wanted to say that I was hungry and tired and wanted to go to bed again, but “What time is it?” was all I got stuttered out.

“Around 2:30 I think. I went to bed like an hour or go or something. You just sort of disappeared today and then I just found you here sleeping” he said and sat back down on the mattress, leaving the light on.

“I was with Brendon” I explained as I crawled back onto my bed and sat on it against the wall. I looked to the side and saw the remains of our first couple of joins spread on the nightstand, and then, next to them another joint that hadn’t been lit yet. I vaguely remembered something about Brendon rolling it but me being too tired and I grinned. “There’s more weed”

“What?” Pete asked, looking up at me from the floor, but my mind had already moved on and I was looking for something to light it with.

“D’you have a lighter” I asked hopefully and smirked when he reached over and pulled one from his pants that were next to the mattress and handed it to me.

“Hey! Share, asshole” he pouted when he got what I was doing and that I wasn’t intending on handing the joint to him. He jumped onto the bed and reached for it, but I stretched out my arm and put my hand on his forehead to keep him away.

“You’re still naked” I stated and he actually looked down as if he’d forgotten. “For God’s sake Pete, put on some pants”

“Are you gonna share then?” he asked and I sighed and nodded.  
He didn’t exactly put on pants, but he slipped into his boxers and that was good enough for me right now. I was too stoned to care anyways, so I let him get on the bed, sit down next to me and take the joint from my hand.

We sat like that in silence for a while. It was different than when I’d been with Brendon this afternoon where we’d laughed so hard my insides had cramped, but this was nice too. Mostly because Pete had actually shut up for once, and was much less annoying like this, and I didn’t think that much about anything in particular.

It wasn’t until the same loud moaning as yesterday started to sound from downstairs that I broke the silence. “Are we going to listen to that every night for the next two weeks?” I asked without looking at Pete. I was sitting with my head leaned back against the wall, eyes closed and I supposed he was too.

“Probably” he just said and I could basically hear his smirk without opening my eyes.

“Which of them is it even that are that noisy?” I asked and soon as the words had left my mouth I realized I didn’t really want to know. It was just the pot that made me think slower and speak more.

“Frank, probably” Pete laughed. “It might be just a little bit payback for when we were rooming, and I may or may not have accidentally been really loud some nights”

“Well thanks a lot for pushing my brothers sex life into my face because you couldn’t keep quiet” I said sarcastically and took the last drag of the joint before putting it out.

“Nah, it’s worth it, totally. I love being loud, y’know, just let loose and scream a little” he said and I turned to look at him with a cocked eyebrow. I didn’t know actually, I didn’t scream. Sometimes the girl I was with were loud, but not me. I had never really thought of that as a thing I wanted to do. And I totally did now, but that was probably just because I was stoned. I always got horny when I was high. I assumed that everyone did.

“I’ve never tried that either, I haven’t tried, like, anything man” I confessed and Pete shot me another one of his disbelieving looks and I sort of shrugged.

“You don’t do boys and you don’t do noise. Mikey Way you must be in possession of one of the most boring sex lives in history” he said with a grin and I blushed a little. It wasn’t that bad, I’d actually been quite satisfied with it until, well, today.

“Oh yeah? What do you do that’s so great?” I asked with a challenging look, dragging a little on the words. Pete was not nearly as high as me, but I don’t really think he noticed.

“Everything, dude, I fucking love sex” he just said looking a little dreamy. “The best thing is just when you fuck so raw and good it makes you scream, like, fuck who can hear you, and it totally sounds like a porno but it’s not, it’s much more passionate and like, real” he sighed and went quiet after that. His breath had gotten heavier, a lot actually and I didn’t doubt his imagination had gone somewhere that was very far from a smoke-filled room with an inexperienced, stoned 16 year old.

I lowered my eyes a little, unintentionally, I swear, and noticed that Pete totally had a boner. He wasn’t even trying to hide it, which would have also been difficult since he was only in his underwear and sitting right next to me. He just kind of sat there with his eyes closed, sighing and probably thinking of that raw sex he’d had that he had been talking about.

I didn’t even know why he’d told me all that, I was possibly the most boring conversation partner ever when it came to guy on guy sex, but it didn’t seem to bother him. Not that anything bothered Pete anyways according to Frank, and he was probably right.

My head was spinning a little and it was very warm in my room. I felt like taking my clothes off but I wasn’t going to because then we’d both be half-naked and Pete was horny and apparently wanted to bone me and it just didn’t lead to anything good in my head. Especially not if I was horny too, and I sort of was.

I don’t know if it was the pot, the heat or the things Pete had described that I had no idea if I was into but sounded sort of hot when he said it like that, or if it was the fact that he was right next to me with a fucking hard on. It was probably a mix of all four and it was starting to do something to my dick and I didn’t know how to feel about that. I mean, it was Pete, the annoying New Yorker who talked too much about himself and ran naked down the street and he had just proceeded to make me half-hard just by talking.

“I’m gonna uh” I stuttered and shifted uncomfortably. “I’m gonna go shower”

“Yeah… Yeah you do that. I’ll just, uh, stay here” Pete said and I left the room, trying to discreetly adjust myself in my jeans as I walked, without much elegance.

'''

When I stepped out of the shower I was a lot clearer in my head, partly because the cold water had washed out some of the pot-caused dizziness and I was not nearly as stoned as I’d been before and partly because I had just jerked off. I hadn’t even tried to get down as I had originally intended with the shower, I’d had my hand on my dick before I even got behind the curtain.

I didn’t really know how it made me feel, because I had fucking wanted to do that but afterwards when I felt sort of sober and back to normal, it was weird. I mean, until two days ago I had thought I was completely straight and I could definitely drop that I idea now, because it wasn’t like I didn’t know what Pete had been doing in my room while I’d been showering and I was definitely not repelled by the thought, to say it mildly. As I stood on the bathroom floor and dried my hair, I tried to excuse myself with the fact that I had been very stoned and it was normal to be very horny when you’d smoked and that was why I had done it and totally enjoyed it, but that was just not the case. I’d got off while thinking of another dude and said dude would be sleeping in my room tonight, naked most likely and his bandmate said he wanted to bang me. Like, how the fuck did this even happen. This wasn’t the thing that was supposed to happen to straight guys who had sex with girls.

I sighed, and then returned to my room where Pete was already asleep on the mattress. I stood in the door and looked at him for a while, and giggled under my breath. He had stained the fucking sheet. There was a box of tissues like 3 feet away on my nightstand that he could easily have reached, but he had stained the fucking sheet and then passed out on it. That fucker.

I still thought he was annoying and maybe a little gross for going to sleep in his own sperm, but he did look sort of adorable as he lay there, snoring lightly. I turned out the lights and went to bed. I was so fucking fucked.

‘’’

I was brutally woken up by something small and yelling and very disturbing jumping onto my bed. As soon as I opened my eyes I felt a stinging headache and slight nausea and reminded myself I was never going to have that kind of hour-long pot marathon ever again. I looked up to see Frank sitting on my knees with a smug grin on his face, lightly bouncing up and down like I weren’t already awake, and then I looked down to see Pete sitting on the mattress looking like Frank just went fucking tornado on him too. Gerard was standing in the doorway, leaning on the frame with his arms crossed and the exact same grin on his face as Frank. I scratched my forehead and sat up. Fuck.

Nobody had said anything yet when Pete got up and headed for the bathroom, thank fuck wearing boxers, but as soon as we’d heard the door lock, Frank looked at me with an expression like a fucking maniac and he clearly expected me to say something.

“Well?” he said excitedly and looked like he’d won the lottery or something.

“Well what?” I answered and my voice was a little hoarse. I wasn’t used to that much smoke in one day.

“Well 3:30 in the morning is not the time most people take showers, we heard the water running, don’t lie” Frank continued and I looked over at my brother for some sort of moral support but he just stood there with his stupid grin on his stupid face and looked just as curious as Frank.

“I’ve always been more of a nocturnal person” I joked half-heartedly and Frank laughed sarcastically.

“I only know three reasons people would shower in the middle of the night like you did” Gerard begun while holding up his fingers as to support his theory. “One; because they wet their bed and are covered in piss, and I know you’re over that stage”. He grinned when I flipped him off and continued. “Two; because they need to jerk off and not be heard or three; because they just got off and need to get less sticky. Who showered Mikes?”

“I did…” I confessed after rolling my eyes.

Frank wiggled his eyebrows at me.

“…Alone”

“Yeah, don’t bullshit me, you guys did something, we all know that” Frank said and nudged me so I fell back down in lying position.

“We just talked” I snapped. We had actually just talked. With hard-ons. And both jerked off in each our room afterwards. But I didn’t feel like Frank and Gerard needed to know that.

“You’re such a bore Mikes. Just plain boring” Gerard snorted but fortunately they left the subject there and Pete came back not very long afterwards. He bend down to look through his bag for some clean clothes, and my eyes sort of just darted past his ass and the tan line right above the edge of his boxers and his soft hips and then back to the ceiling I’d been looking at before. I kept the image in my head for a while. I tried to not really think about why I’d looked at him, it wasn’t quite willing to admit that to myself, as I tried to ignore Franks smug staring.

“Oh yeah, by the way” Pete said as he turned around with a clean t-shirt in his hands, pulling it over his head in a smooth motion before picking up his jeans from yesterday, cocking an eyebrow at me, like he just knew I’d been looking. “Sorry about your sheet”

I could’ve fucking strangled him, but his words caused such reaction that I had enough to think about already and he was probably a lot stronger than me anyways, and I would also have to push Frank off me to get to him, so I just stayed where I was, while Gerard cried out a loud “HA” and Franks smug smile turned into a fucking ear to ear grin.

“Oh my God” I sighed and covered my eyes with my palm. And it just hit me that for every minute that passed, it must have seemed more and more obvious to Frank and Gerard that we had done something last night. Which we hadn’t. Not really.

“I totally knew it” Frank stated and punched me lightly, before jumping off me and looking around my room with a very satisfied look on his face. “I fucking knew it” he repeated after a while and I would’ve appreciated by then if my bed had just swallowed me and spit me out sometime in the next millennium.

“Knew what?” Pete asked as he pulled on his jeans and tightened his belt.

“That” Frank answered and didn’t say anymore when Pete sent him a somewhat questioning look, so he just shrugged and headed out the door.

“Please tell me you have some breakfast here, I’m starving” he shouted as we could hear him move down the stairs and Frank and Gerard followed him, leaving me alone in my room with my thoughts. And there were a lot of them at the moment. I closed my eyes for a second and just thought things through, but it wasn’t really helping so it ended with me just giving up trying to get a hold of my mind, pulling on some other clothes than the ones I’d been sleeping in and went downstairs.

My mom had made pancakes for us, standing over the stove with a smile on her face when I entered the kitchen. Frank, Gerard and Pete was already sat around the dinner table, working their way through each their small stack of pancakes. Frank and Gerard just looked up at me with their stupid and very knowingly grins and it really bothered me. Pete didn’t notice anything of course. Fucking Pete.

“Good morning Mikes, sit down and I’ll have some for you ready in a minute” Mom smiled and I scowled at my brother and his boyfriend as I sat down. She handed me a couple of pancakes, and though they were nothing but delicious, I didn’t really eat much. I was still feeling a little nauseous from yesterday and there was also all these things in my head that I didn’t know how to deal with and they didn’t make anything inside of me feel better.

“I think it’s gonna get really hot today outside, don’t you have a beach or something?” Frank asked Gerard when he’d finished his food and Pete looked up with an approving expression.

“We have the lake” Gerard said with a thoughtful look. He wasn’t the greatest swimmer of everyone I knew, actually he’d rather stay dry and with his clothes on, but Frank looked really eager and so I guessed that was probably what we were gonna spend most of the day doing. “Did you bring any swimwear?”

“I didn’t” Pete frowned and Frank laughed.

“You just swim naked, as if you don’t like that better anyways. I’m sure Mikey will approve too” he giggled and got that smug fucking look again. I would’ve really loved if I’d had some sort of superpower that could make my vision electric so I could’ve just stared at Frank and then he would’ve been fried and die because what he just said was so not okay. That was so crossing the line.

“What?” Pete said with a confused expression and looked and me, then Frank and then back to me. Frank just snickered while I stared at the ceiling and unsuccessfully tried not to blush. Fucking Frank. Fuck.

‘’’

Similar to the drive to the record store yesterday, me and Pete shared the backseat while he talked and talked and talked. Seriously, the dude did not shut up for more than thirty seconds at once. In all this thinking about Pete telling me about his sex escapades while being totally turned on and Pete jerking off in my room and Pete without his clothes on and things like that, I’d almost forgotten how annoying he was. But he smiled a lot and talked with his hands, so vividly that he was actually close to hitting me in the head a few times when he got very excited about something, and it kind of pushed the whole annoying-thing in the background.

We’d all switched to swimwear underneath our clothes before taking off, or in Pete’s case just sat and waited for the rest of us, and Frank had been right about the weather. It was not even noon yet and we were already dying from just sitting in the car.

As soon as Gerard had parked, we were out of the car, dressing off and getting into the water. Or well, the three of us, Gerard was a little slower, both because he had to lock the car before following us, and also because it was Gerard about to go swimming. Gerard. Swimming.

But he got in eventually, and Pete didn’t swim naked, he kept on his boxers because apparently he wasn’t so crazy about being naked when Frank and Gerard were around, and it made me giggle under my breath.

The lake wasn’t very big, and the water was brown from algae and dirt and whatever else and there lived approximately 4000 mosquitos just above the water. But the water was cooling and refreshing so it didn’t matter too much to me.

We stayed mostly in the side of the lake that was closer to the road because the other end was much deeper, and back here you could just accurately reach the bottom with your feet. Or well, Pete and Frank probably couldn’t due to their lack of height, but me and Gerard could. But of course at one point Pete had so get out in the deep end and try and do an underwater somersault and almost kill himself, because he did that kind of things a lot apparently. So Frank got out and sort of pulled him through the surface so he could breathe again, before slapping the back of his head for being a dumbass while we were all grinning like idiots because it had looked fucking funny.

He came back to the close side of the lake after that, and we splashed around for another hour or so before clouds started rolling in and it got darker. Great, rain was coming. I mean, summer was okay in Belleville when it was hot and you could just drift around in the neighborhood, lazy in the heat, but there had been a couple of years that I remembered where the weather had been awful and we’d been stuck in the house for a good two months, killing time and just waiting for the sky to clear up. And though neither of us left the house that much, especially not Gerard, it would get boring to stay inside ridiculously fast when you didn’t have a choice.

We climbed out of the lake and got dressed, clothes sticking uncomfortable to our skin since we couldn’t sit around and dry in the sun, just as the first couple of raindrops fell on us. It wasn’t bad at first, but knowing the Jersey weather well, it would get much worse in a couple of hours.  
The car ride home was moist and the air was thick from water and sweat. It was still just as hot in the car, since it never got colder though it rained.

“Fucking Jersey” Gerard swore as he pulled into the driveway that had quickly turned to mud that stained his car. I didn’t get why he would complain, it wasn’t like anyone would notice another couple of dirt spots on his car, I don’t think he’d ever washed it since he got it.

When we got in the house we split up to go and change to dry clothes; Frank and Gerard in the basement and me and Pete upstairs. For a change he actually didn’t say much, he just looked through his bag again and I wondered how he kept on having clean clothes in there. He’d have to need a washing machine soon.

I headed for my drawer and pulled out a pair of dry jeans and a t-shirt. I really felt like putting on a hoodie, I always did that when it rained outside, but if I did that my brain would probably melt from the heat and I’d have a seizure. So I went for the t-shirt and got in the dry clothes.

I needed a towel to dry my hair, the humid air had made it all puffy and I really couldn’t stand the way it looked right now, but when I headed for the bathroom to get one and definitely also my hair straightener, I noticed Pete who still hadn’t changed from the wet clothes. He was just standing in front of my mirror, posing, and his shirt that was already tight was basically fucking transparent right now. I could totally see his tattoos through the fabric. He tensed his biceps and grinned when he saw me looking at him, cocking my eyebrow. He was such a god damn showoff.

“What are you even doing?” I asked and he just grinned wider and turned his eyes back to his own reflection.

“I could so win a Miss Wet T-shirt contest” he smirked.

“Don’t you think you’d need a set of tits for that?” I said sarcastically and headed for the bathroom. I turned around in the doorway and shot him another glance.

“Nah, the judges wouldn’t be able to resist me”. He tugged playfully at the hem of his shirt and pulled it up a little, showing the tattoo to the mirror, and definitely also me. Tease. I left the room and got my towel, dried my hair and started straightening it.

I eyed myself in the mirror above the sink while letting thoughts casually slip through my mind, listening to Pete exiting my room and heading for the basement. Then silence fell over the first floor of the house and I could vaguely hear the rain hitting the roof above me. I didn’t really care about it though, rain didn’t take up much of my attention right now, actually, neither did the burning hot hair straightener in my hand, which resulted in me managing to roast a piece of my forehead within 5 minutes.

I was thinking of Pete, like, that thing he’d done in there with the whole wet shirt and posing and teasing, that had been pretty hot. That was just not negotiable, I found that hot and that was it. And Frank had told me yesterday that Pete had just been waiting for me to find out that he was cute, and I’d done that now, thank you very much, and he fucking knew it. And I wasn’t even into boys, I was still kind of straight. Pete was just hot, he did hot things and he knew he was hot and I didn’t know what to do. I was still into girls. I was just into girls and Pete. That made sort of sense.

When I’d gotten a hold of my hair and looked okay again, I went downstairs to join the others in the basement. When I entered, they were sitting on the floor, intensely staring at the TV. Gerard and Pete were holding each their game controller and Frank was watching.

“I’m gonna fucking murder you” Pete roared and violently pressed the buttons with an expression that made him look slightly demonic.

“Not if you keep on going like that, sucker” Gerard just smirked and I couldn’t see the TV but I knew Gerard had won whatever they were playing only seconds after, because he and Frank broke out in cheering and high-fived while Pete looked really disappointed. I almost felt bad for him.

“Hey, Mikes” he said when they’d all turned their attention from the finished game and to me as I was standing in the doorway. “Finally done powdering your nose?”

They all laughed half-assed and I sighed. I was the person in the room who wore the god damn least make-up, and I was still getting the most shit for caring about my looks. I went and sat down between Pete and Gerard, and they started up a new game.

“Anyways, glad you’re here, it was getting sort of boring when Gee was the only one who had his own personal cheerleader” Pete grinned and I could practically feel Frank and Gerard snickering next to me, though I was looking at Pete.

“I’m not gonna be your cheerleader” I said but couldn’t help but smile back. Just a little.

“You don’t have to wear one of those little dresses if that’s the issue” he assured and turned his attention back to the screen. “But it’s cool too if you’re into that, actually”  
Gerard snorted in a very obvious attempt not to laugh, and I elbowed him half-heartedly and he lost focus for a second which made Pete win the round.

“Fuck yeah! That’s what I’m talking about” he shouted nudged me lightly with his shoulder without taking his eyes from the screen. “Cheerleading is good, but sabotage is even better, hah”  
Gerard scowled and got a cigarette out of the pack in his pocket and lit it before starting the next round, looking very determined to defeat Pete this time. And he did, but then Pete came back strong and got him a couple of times and then it just went on like that for the rest of the evening, while the rain poured and it got gradually darker in the room.

The amount cigarette butts in the ashtray increased and we all got very intense about the game, and of course it ended up with me cheering for Pete as Frank cheered for Gerard and he’d start to refer to me as his cheerleader, and it bugged me at first but eventually I got too tired to care. Pete just seemed to be the type who got exactly what he wanted without much effort, and that was probably what bugged me, rather than the whole cheerleader thing. That was okay.

And as usual, the clock stroke midnight, then one and suddenly half past two, and my eyelids started falling shut. I really wanted to go to bed, but I didn’t feel like leaving the basement. Everyone was sort of tired and not as interested in the game anymore, but it was nice and I wanted to stay here.  
I wanted to close my eyes for just a couple of seconds and then stay awake until the others went to bed to not miss out on anything, but of course I was completely gone a moment after I’d shut my eyes and I first woke up again when someone shook my shoulder.

“What?” I slurred and didn’t bother opening my eyes.

“Wake up, sleeping beauty, let’s go to bed, you’re not gonna spend the night on the floor” Pete’s voice sounded softly and I opened my eyes and squinted a little in the light from the TV-screen. Gerard was by it, turning off the PlayStation and Frank was half asleep in the bed. And then I noticed that I’d been leaning on Pete while sleeping, head on his shoulder, and quickly sat up into sitting position.

“Yeah, bed, yeah” I just mumbled and got on my feet, feeling slightly awkward, and then we headed for the door. I had no idea what time it was or how long I’d been out, but I supposed somewhere between very late night and early morning.

“Sleep tight” Gerard said and winked, and just snickered when I flipped him off and closed the door behind us. I wasn’t really awake, my eyelids still heavy, thoughts sort of blurry and my motions a little slow as I followed Pete up the stairs and woah, he did have a really nice ass and it was right there in front of me. I just sort of noticed it right now and it wasn’t as weird thinking about it when I was this tired and all that.

When we got into my room I just went straight for my bed, head first and fell asleep almost instantly. I didn’t even have time for changing to pajamas, not that I did that a lot anyways, and today was no exception. I think I dreamt about cheerleaders and cigarettes and possibly also about Pete, but I don’t really know, it was a bit of a blur, and it all disappeared quickly when I was woken up the second time that night by Pete.

I could hear him moving around but it was way too early to be morning, and even if it was I definitely needed more sleep. I turned around and checked the clock on my nightstand, 5:30, that was just too fucking early for me too function in any proper way.

I reached over and turned on the lamp next to the clock and shot a glance at Pete. He was sitting up straight on the mattress, arms around his knees and his eyes darting around the room. He eyes were wide and I could feel some of my insides move uncomfortable when he looked at me. He looked completely terrified, like, I’d seen only seen that kind of horror painted on someone’s face one time in a long while, and that’d been with Frank and the spider in the car.

“What’s the matter?” I asked with a hoarse voice.

“Listen” he just said and looked up at the window. I paid attention for a while and could hear a vague roar of thunder in the distance.

“Thunder?” I asked and he nodded.

“I really don’t like thunder” he just said and kept on looking at me like he was going to cry and I was starting to feel really bad for him. I sort of remembered me halfway listening to Frank telling about Pete not liking thunder.

“Why not?” I asked dumbly, and felt really stupid as the words left my mouth, but hey, it wasn’t even 6 in the morning, my brain wasn’t on full speed right now.

“Dunno, or well, I do, but it’s sort of, I don’t know-“ he stuttered and grimaced. “There was like this housefire when I was a kid that was caused by lightning and it was thundering so loud while we were outside waiting for the firetrucks and I just really don’t like it now” he explained, and I didn’t know what to do. I mean, for the few days I’d known him he’d been confident and slightly arrogant and what not and now he was just sitting there, looking miserable.

So I just crawled down from my bed and hugged him in lack of anything better to do. That was what Gerard had done to Frank, and that had worked. I couldn’t come up with anything to say, I wasn’t good at comforting people and considering it was Jersey after all, this would probably continue for the rest of the night. Morning. Whatever.

We sat like that for a while and he snuggled up to me, and I felt like I’d done something along the right thing because he seemed less horrified and at some point we fell asleep. Because next thing I knew I woke up again and it was daylight outside, still raining though but not thundering anymore. And I was on Petes mattress and he wasn’t naked but in his clothes from yesterday, and he was still asleep next to me.

He was on his side, facing me and I studied him for a while, his face only a few inches from mine. I shifted and I was really comfortable like this, and after another couple of minutes Pete yawned and opened his eyes. He smiled when he saw me and the scared and shaky Pete from last night seemed very far away.

“Hi” he said groggily and I returned his smile.

“Hey” I replied and my voice was only slightly hoarse. “You okay?”

“Never been better” he grinned. Yup, normal, confident Pete was back with his dumb grin and his dumb face and I found myself a bit relieved. I’d sort of missed his annoyance and all that last night when he’d been sad and afraid. He was definitely like a small town or the warehouse parties or the dirty lake, you got used to them and then they grew on you. Like, a lot. Silence fell again while we just looked at each other for another little while.

“Y’know, you look really cute like this” he broke the silence and I snickered. If there was anything I did not look right now, it was cute, I mean, my hair was all fucked up from sleeping, my glasses were somewhere I didn’t really know and I probably had the worst breath ever. But then again, it didn’t seem to bother Pete.

“Yeah?” I just said in lack of anything better and he nodded as much as he could while still lying down.

“Yeah, you’re really cute” he repeated and then proceeded to run a couple of his fingers over my cheek and down to my lips, ghosting over them for a moment before moving his hand down to my neck, still touching very lightly. I giggled and tensed in my muscles.

“Are you ticklish?” He asked with a grin.

“No” I lied and his grin got wider.

“Then this won’t bug you” he said and quickly slipped his hand to my side where he started tickling me and I snorted and whined and pushed myself back. “Knew it” Pete just stated smugly before grabbing my wrists and turning me around so I was on my back. While still holding my arms in a tight grip he got onto me in a smooth motion and was suddenly straddling me and I was basically defenseless like this.

“No, please, Pete. Pete!” I whined when he pushed my arms above my head with one of his hands while the other one was sliding over my ribs and I could feel his nails tickling through my shirt and I started laughing really hard. “Please”

He leaned forward while giggling until his nosed touched mine. “Nah, I’m good” he mouthed and rested his hand right below my ribcage and the both of us still slightly snickering though it was like the room suddenly got very quiet and I got very aware how close his face was to mine. His eyes were right there and they were wide in what looked like anticipation and I could feel his body heat from where he was sitting and weighing down on my abdomen. And he still had that stupid smile plastered to his face and I probably had too and I totally saw where this was going.

Or well, I thought I did and I’d been okay with that, but the next instant my bedroom door was slammed open and Frank was standing in the doorway, taking a single look at us and then managed to look surprised and very smug at the same time. Asshole. Both me and Pete got startled as fuck and he tried to climb off me while I simultaneously tried to sit up and we managed to bang our foreheads together before getting untangled and I straightened out my shirt that had sort of slipped up when he’d been tickling me.

“I think we disturbed a moment here” Frank smirked over his shoulder and I noticed Gerard was behind him staring intensely at the doorframe, his expression somewhere between uncomfortable and very amused. I could feel every ounce of blood in my body rush to my cheeks. I looked at Pete and he didn’t look nearly as embarrassed as I probably did but he still looked like someone who would have rather not been interrupted right now.

“Uh, Frankie, could you, like, give us a minute” Pete said with a flat tone of voice and Frank just snickered, winked, and closed the door. Those two fucking dicks made everything so much more perverted than it actually was.

When Frank and Gerard had left there was this heavy awkward silence in my room and I needed to change my clothes. I smelled like sweat and sleep. And Pete. I got on my feet and dug out a clean shirt from my drawer while Pete looked through his bag and finally gave up on finding any more clean clothes in there and just picked up a shirt that been lying on the floor.

“I need a washing machine” he stated and looked at me, and for a second I cursed Frank and his incredibly bad timing.

“Yeah. We can do laundry today if you want” I smiled and he nodded.

“Yeah, laundry”. I was so not thinking about doing laundry and he was definitely neither. I sighed and sent him a small smile before looking over at the watch. It was noon thirty, we should probably get downstairs before Frank and Gerard decided to come back and be annoying again.

So, before we went downstairs, I found out that Pete could move really fucking fast if he wanted, when I pulled my shirt over my head and he moved from the other end of my room to standing right in front of me in the moment my eyes had been covered by the fabric.

“Hey” I just said with a little grin, standing awkwardly with my hands twisting the t-shirt that I was holding. I opened my mouth to say something more but I didn’t really get to do that because suddenly Pete leaned in and kissed me. And this time Frank wasn’t here to interrupt it and yet I just froze and stood stupidly clenching the t-shirt like I’d forgotten how to kiss another human being.

And maybe I sort of had, or maybe kissing boys was just really different from kissing girls because it was like my stomach dropped, like I was on a huge rollercoaster on my way down and when Pete pulled away I regained the ability to move and my head was as fuzzy as when I’d been high the other day and I really wanted to do that again. Like, soon.

“Sorry, I just, um, wanted to try that” he stuttered and stepped back, giving me sort of an apologizing shrug.

“Don’t… Be” I mumbled and inhaled deeply, like I’d forgotten how to breathe until now too. I was just really overwhelmed by Pete and everything else basically and my brain needed a moment to process it properly.

“I won’t then” he said and the smile returned to his face. I put on my clean shirt and we left the room, and as we went down the stairs his fingers ghosted softly over my palm and then my wrist and I turned around to smile up at him. He just batted his eyelashes at me. And I swore if there was one thing that fucker wasn’t, it’d be sorry.

'''

“Laundry?” Gerard laughed when he’d asked what we were going to spend the day doing and I’d answered him in complete honesty. We were seated around the table with each our bowl of cornflakes and Gerard looked like he wasn’t really taking me seriously.

“Well I’m actually out of clean clothes too” Frank added. “That’s sort of a good idea”

“Told you” I said smugly to Gerard. “Just because we’re someone here who doesn’t wear the same pair of jeans three months straight without washing them”

He scowled and I wondered if he even knew how to use a washing machine. Probably not. I think he lived by the philosophy that if neither me nor mom were doing laundry and asked if we should do his too, his clothes weren’t that dirty.

“I’ll go pick up my clothes” Pete said as he was the only one already done eating. As he got up from the table, he let his fingers slide across my knee and smiled down at me before leaving the room. I rolled my eyes at Frank and Gerard who just sat there snickering. Like, how old were they? 7 or something?

“Well?” Frank cocked his eyebrow at me. I copied his expression back, sarcastically and didn’t say anything because it was like they felt entitled to know everything and they totally weren’t. Gerard just giggled and sent Frank a knowingly look. And okay, this secretive and easily irritable way of acting might have been exactly the same as every other time I’d started something with someone and Gerard had wanted to know about it. And while thinking about it, I was about as bad as keeping secrets from him as he was from me.

“Pete may or may not have kissed me before we came down here” I just sighed, I might as well tell them, Gerard would just get me to say it sooner or later and he’d tell Frank immediately anyways.

“Totally” Gerard smirked and I crossed my arms. They were dumb. This was all dumb. “Did you like it?”

“What?” I said, frowning a little and Gerard repeated the question. It wasn’t like I hadn’t heard it; I just had never heard that particular question before when he asked about my girlfriends and stuff like that. Of course I’d liked it, if I hadn’t I would’ve sort of not told anyone about it and just tried to forget about it.

“I guess, yeah” I said with a shrug and Gerard nodded.

“Are you gonna do it again?” he asked and I just kept on crossing my arms tightly. Just because I told them didn’t mean I liked telling them particularly, I always felt like I was in some sort of interrogation and not just casual conversations with my brother about whom I did or did not kiss.

“I guess” I said and shrugged again, awkwardly, and that was probably a bit of an understatement because fuck yes, we were gonna do it again, hopefully soon and hopefully some more. Like, that rush I felt in my guts and the fuzziness, I could really go for some more of that.

The rest of us went to get our laundry too when we’d finished eating and I smirked at Pete when I entered my room and he was in the middle of floor still picking up all the clothes he’d worn since he got here. Counting his dirty shirts, I figured it was only four days ago but it felt like a month or something when I thought about it.

I went over to stand in front of him, still smiling when he mouthed “Hey” in a low voice and I put my hands on his hips, taking in his mouth with my eyes for a while. It was like I could already feel my stomach starting to twist and I just wanted to close the space between us but I got so fucking startled just like the last time and it took me a while to actually get moving and press my mouth against his.

He made a little whimpering noise in surprise and I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. Yeah, I totally had more control of what I was doing this time, but it didn’t change the warm feeling in my body and the slight dizziness and the fact that this was very possibly the best thing I’d ever tried.

His tongue licked playfully into my mouth and he tasted sweet and slid his hand around the back of my neck and caressed my skin. And if I hadn’t been busy with keeping my balance and pushing back as Pete got very eager and almost pushed me over, I’d have though it was funny. It was Pete; the annoying bassist from New York who slept naked and was scared of thunder, and here I was, making out with him like it was all I’d ever done. It wasn’t, but it definitely should’ve been, like woah, he knew what he was doing here.

When I pulled away for air he used the break to bite my lip and raise his eyebrows challengingly at me, and I couldn’t help but grab his hips a little harder and pull him tighter, because fuck, this was hot. When he pressed his lips to mine again, I slid my hands over the small of his back and down to his ass, squeezing it lightly and making him whine a little in pleasure and then giggle. We were only just getting really into it when a loud pounding on the door made us pull away, and I stood there looking at him and sighed as he went and opened the door, a little out of breath and the only thing I wanted to do was tell Frank to go to hell and reattach myself to Pete’s mouth.

“Did you drown in laundry or just find something better to do?” he asked with his dumb grin when Pete let him in while I just scowled at him and Pete took a look at me and couldn’t help but laugh. I pursed my lips and crossed my arms, and Frank just cocked his eyebrow at me. “Damn Mikes, you look like someone just pissed on your good mood”

“Well, you did just stop him from groping me, that’s sort of a bummer” Pete smirked and went to pick up his clothes where he’d left them before and I blushed. This was second time within, like, an hour Frank came and interrupted something I would’ve rather that he didn’t.

Me and Pete followed him downstairs to the small laundry room behind the kitchen where the washing machine was placed, and Gerard was already in there sitting on a pile of clothes and I strongly suspected that pile of being made out of every single piece of clothing he owned.

“Finally” he rolled his eyes at us and Pete just shrugged and grinned. “How do you do this?”

He looked at me and clearly expected me to reveal the great secret of the washing machine to him. “Have you really never done this before?” I asked him. “You lived here for what? 19 years?”

He batted his arms. “Well, not really. You or mom always did it”

“Oh my god” I sighed and closed my eyes for a second. “We need to sort all the clothes out in three piles first; white, colored and black” I explained and sat down on the floor and started throwing black shirts in the corner of the room. Gerard started looking through his own clothes while Pete sat down across from me and helped, since black was the major color of all our clothes and it would take a while. Frank started picking out the few pieces of white clothing that we had combined and threw it in the washing machine.

Through the entire hour it took us to get a hold of all our dirty clothes, well mostly me and Gerards since Pete and Frank only had what they’d brought here in the first place, Pete kept touching me. Like, these light little reminders that I would really like to do things to him very soon, taking my hand and squeezing it for a moment, sliding his palm over my thigh or leaning against me more than necessarily. It was very satisfying and very frustrating at the same time and I couldn’t help but gasp when he suddenly, discreetly put his hand under my shirt and let it roam up my back, partly because his fingers were cold and partly because the sudden feeling of his hands on my skin made me shiver.

Frank and Gerard didn’t really notice anything, they would keep on debating whether black shirts with colorful print would go into the category of black or colored, luckily. Last thing I needed was them snickering about every little move I made.

When we’d gotten the white clothes washed and I’d stuffed it into the dryer while scowling at Gerard for refusing to do it after claiming it was better if I did since I knew what I was doing, we’d gotten all the others clothes sorted and the colored ones into the washing machine. Gerard suggested a smoke break and the four of us went into the basement that was the only place inside the house where we were allowed to smoke. Well, I smoked in my room if I felt like it but my mom didn’t know that so the basement was officially the only place where we smoked inside.

Frank offered me one of his cigarettes since I didn’t have any of my own and didn’t intend on buying any, and everyone except Pete lighted up. We sat in silence for a minute, just relaxing on top of all the work we’d done, when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

“Hey?” I answered it and the others turned their attention to me.

“Dude” Brendons voice sounded in the other end. “There’s a party tonight at the warehouse, you going? You can just bring your brother and his friends, I think it’s gonna be huge” he explained and sounded excited. He was always a lot more into the warehouse parties than me, though I always showed up with him.

“Have you seen how much it’s raining man, shouldn’t they be building an arch instead of getting drunk” I asked with a look out Gerards basement window that was just as stained and dirty as his car and it was indeed still pouring.

“If you get drunk enough you won’t notice it’s raining” he said and that was hard to argue against.

“I’ll ask the others and call you back, ‘kay?” I said and he agreed before hanging up.

“Warehouse party?” I asked out in the room and Gerard shrugged.

“What’s that?” Pete asked and I turned my attention to him and Frank who looked just as curious.

“High school parties in an abandoned warehouse. There’s no supervision of any kind so there would be something very wrong if they didn’t get extremely out of hand” I explained and Pete looked excited.

“That sounds totally like something we should do” he grinned and Frank nodded. Gerard seemed to be the only one doubting this was a good idea. But he’d never gone there either, he’d always stayed at home when he was in high school.

“Come on Gee, you’re not a high-schooler anymore” I said cheeringly.

“I don’t know…” he said. “It’s not like there’s any good music at all and none of us are desperate to get randomly laid”

By the last sentence I shot a glance at Pete and saw he was looking at me. He did this little smirking thing at me that was nothing but a quick movement in the corner of his mouth, but it made me all woozy and I had to take a deep breath and fuck, I was so lame and girly.

“Oh come on Gee, we can always just get drunk on other people’s alcohol and then leave and get laid by each other” Frank said with a grin. Gerard shrugged again, he was really difficult to get out of the house at night.

“Don’t you party in college or what?” I asked after taking my eyes of Pete with a great deal of willpower and looking back at Gerard.

“Well, yeah- “ he started but I cut him off, I’d gotten more excited by going since I shared the idea with Pete and Frank. It’d be fun to show up at a regular high school party with three college student of which two of them were musicians.

“Then let’s go” I said and he gave up and nodded.

‘’’

We’d done the rest of the laundry in another couple of hours and by then it was almost dinnertime anyways, so we might as well get ready, then eat something and leave. We split up to change clothes and look a little more like someone who was going out and not someone who had spent all day doing laundry while waiting for the rain to stop.

I was straightening my hair in front of the mirror while Pete kept on changing back and forth between two of shirts. He was incredibly distracting when he kept dressing off and he knew that, and I kept getting the warm iron on my skin because I was busy looking at him in the mirror and not my own reflection. When I thought about it I’d actually much rather stay home and watch Pete change his shirt and things like that, but I’d already called Brendon and told him we’d be there and I wasn’t Gerard. When there was parties and alcohol, you showed up.

“Ouch” I whined when I was almost done with my hair and managed to burn myself on the back of my neck before turning of the straightener and eyeing my work in the mirror.

“You burned yourself?” Pete said and pursed his lips at me and I nodded. He came over and slipped himself in front of me so he was between me and the mirror. He’d finally decided what shirt he wanted to wear and it was not less distracting than when he’d been no shirt at all. Besides being as tight as all his shirts seemed to be, it was also short on him so no matter how he moved he would show off that strip of skin and that tattoo and it was driving me crazy.

“Yeah” I mouthed down at him, he’d suddenly gotten so close and I was not complaining. “You’re distracting me”

He giggled. “I can make that up” he assured before leaning in and kissing my throat, sucking on the skin and snaking his arms around the small of my back. I panted slightly because oh god, that felt fucking good. I stood for a while just feeling his tongue on me before running my hands through his hair and turning his head upwards so I could crash my lips against his. I’d needed that for the whole fucking day. It was like once I’d kissed him the first time, I couldn’t really get myself to stop, and neither could Pete so it was okay.

I pushed him lightly against the drawer and licked into his mouth still with my hands twisting in his hair. When I broke the kiss for air, he leaned his forehead against mine and grinned. “Getting a little rough here, are we?” he smirked. “I like that”

I replied by pushing my hips a little forward so my crotch grinded against his. Rough, sure, whatever he wanted, I just wanted him. He gasped at my move and made a deep little moan, before connecting our mouths again, in this playful way that I couldn’t get enough of.

Then I was reminded of two things when I felt something hard pressing against my thigh, one; unlike every other time I’d made out with someone, I wasn’t the only one here with a dick and that was definitely a new sensation but definitely also sort of hot and two; we really needed to not do this right now because we we’re leaving in not very long and Frank and Gerard would probably come looking for us every minute now.

“We can’t d-“ I said as I broke the kiss but he cut me off.

“I know. I just need to-“ he didn’t finish the sentence before pressing his mouth hard against mine, not using his tongue or anything, just kissing me really deep and passionate and fuck. Fuck, I was so also starting to get hard and that was really a bad time and I needed to think about something else than Pete.

“Okay” I panted as he pulled away and we both straightened out our clothes and tried not to look as in the middle of a hurricane of sexual tension as we were. “Let’s go”

“Yeah, yeah” Pete just said and he looked like he wanted to say something more but he didn’t. We went out my room and down the stairs in silence, probably both of us thinking unsexy things in an attempt to get down before either of the other two noticed and died from laughter.

It worked somewhat, fortunately since Frank and Gerard was already waiting in the kitchen, thankfully they hadn’t been dumb enough to go and knock on my door this time. Frank was all styled up in leather and makeup and what not, while Gerard was looking a little more discreet and a little more uncomfortable.

“You’re late” Frank said with sarcastic suspiciousness as all of us headed for the door.

“We were busy” Pete just answered, the top of his cheeks a little rosy and I wasn’t able to tell if it was from being turned on or blushing. Probably a mix of both.

“I’m sure you were” Gerard grinned and we all ran across the porch and quickly got into the car to not get our looks completely screwed up by the rain. It worked pretty well and we all still looked decent as we pulled out of the driveway and Gerard headed for the warehouse.

It was probably a good thing we were late because when we arrived everyone was drunk enough to not notice that the four of us stood out from the crowd in our dark clothes and eyeliner. I spotted Brendon in the other end of the room, drinking with a couple of girls I recognized as cheerleaders. Of course. It amused me that he could be such a ladies man but then casually went and sucked some guys dick in the back rooms and stated he would gladly do it again if given the chance.

The music was loud and it smelled like sweat and smoke, and me and Pete went over to sit with Brendon because he had alcohol, while Frank dragged a very reluctant and panicking Gerard onto the dancefloor. I envied them a little, they didn’t have to care about what people thought about them being gay, dancing with and kissing each other in the middle of the room, they were both going back to New York at the end of the summer and wouldn’t have to go to school with all these judgmental idiots.

“D’you wanna go out back and get high?” Brendon asked me after a while. He’d left the girls alone and approached me and Pete who were sitting against a wall with a painful couple of inches of air between us. It was even worse when we’d been drinking and any kind of boundaries kind of slipped in the background, but we didn’t touch, just sat and talked with a bottle of booze between us we’d gotten from someone somewhere, I wasn’t sure who.

“Sure” I said and we got up and followed him down a corridor where the only one we ran into was a couple making out. This place was actually huge as fuck; though most of it was just dirty concrete and some empty wooden boxes that we used to sit on. We had only gotten access to the ground floor though, you needed an elevator to get to the two others and they didn’t work, but there was still the main hall where the music and the dancing was going on and then a bunch of small corridors and empty rooms in the back, whose purpose had become shelter for people who were either getting laid or high.

After finding a room that wasn’t occupied we went inside and sat down on the floor, and began the process of me watching fascinated while Brendon rolled joints, Pete sitting next to me, finally letting his hand slip up my thigh and just caress it softly.

When Brendon was done he handed us each our joint and we lit up, sitting back against the wall and enjoying it. For a minute I thought about how incredibly dangerous this was, people were drunk and smoking inside and there was absolutely no fire alarms or anything like that, but then again it had always worked like this and nothing had happened yet, and I pushed the thought away when my head started getting fuzzy from the weed and alcohol combined.

I was probably gonna feel like shit tomorrow for doing both at the same time but right now it was just nice and relaxing, and I could lean into Pete and he could put his arm around me because there was no one here except Brendon and he didn’t care, he was already wasted, so much that he didn’t even question it when Pete started kissing me, just sort of nodded and closed his eyes, and after a minute he got up with a giggle and left us alone.

And then suddenly we were on our own and had all time in the world; Frank and Gerard wasn’t going to disturb us like they did at home and it was like all the possibilities this left punched me in the stomach, because I was breathless for a second. I didn’t have long to think about it though because Pete moved his leg over mine in a smooth motion, so he sat on his knees, straddling me.

“Fuck” he whispered and grabbed the front of my t-shirt as he leaned in and kissed me. My hands automatically found their way to his ass and pushed him a little closer, feeling his crotch against my abdomen. “I have been waiting for this” he continued when he broke the kiss for air and I replied by kissing the corner of his mouth and biting down on his lower lip. It sounded hot when he said it like that, but on the other hand I had been waiting for this too and I was so impatient and drunk and turned on right now that he probably could’ve said anything and it would sound hot.

I pushed my crotch up against his ass and a low moan escaped him, and not very long after felt a half-boner getting pushed against me and it was still only second time I’d ever tried that and definitely a much hotter feeling that I would’ve ever imagined.

He kissed me again and pushed his dick against me, and though my thoughts were sort of blurry and one-tracked, I managed to break the kiss, take a deep breath and gently push him off me. “Stand up” I demanded him, fighting the urge to just jump back at him when he looked up at me, confused and a little out of breath. “I wanna try something”

He did as I said, leaning on the wall behind him, and his expression changed back to very pleased when I placed myself on my knees in front of him and started unbuttoning his jeans. “I like where this is going” he smirked and I looked up at him as he bit his own lip and cocked his eyebrow.

I slipped my hands around his waist and tugged as his jeans, pulling them down over his ass, they were really fucking tight so it was a bit of work when he stood with his legs slightly spread like that, but I managed to get them to the middle of his thighs without further struggle.

He started making these low, pleading noises as I put my hand on his dick and palmed it through his boxers, and I would probably come in my pants sooner or later because there was just something about him that was so god damn hot and I couldn’t really put my finger on it, but then again that was probably why I had suddenly gotten so into him in the first place. And this was also a very flattering angle actually, and those little moans didn’t do anything bad either.

I got myself together after another moment and slipped his boxers down to his pants, and as I was presented with a dick in my face I remembered that I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to do. Well, I sort of had an idea since I’d received blowjobs before but it wasn’t like my main priority back then had been to observe and learn, and it was definitely different when I was the one who was going to do it.

Then I remembered Pete saying something about pornstars and just going for it, and why the hell not? I wasn’t gonna chicken out and just use my hand or anything, I mean, everyone but me had done it and if I could get Pete to make more of those noises he had going on right now, it would definitely be worth any kind of me not enjoying this.

So I leaned forward and took the tip into my mouth and I managed to look up and watch Petes jaw drop open. Yeah, okay I was doing something right. I pushed my head forward until I couldn’t take more and slipped back and he made another one of those moans that I couldn’t handle. Fuck this was hot.

I started moving my head back and forth, really slowly at first, just listening to the sounds he was making, enjoying the fact that I was the one doing that to him. I sped up a little and my hand found its way back to his ass and grabbed it, making him push a little more forward. I put my other hand at the part of his dick that I couldn’t reach with my mouth and started jacking him, sort of in sync with my mouth.

Also, every thought about me not liking this was totally washed away because this was definitely the best way I’d ever spend a warehouse party, and at some point I let my hand slip from Pete’s ass where I may or may not have left some sort of scratch, and down into my own pants where I started touching myself. I started moaning a little as I rubbed my own dick and I could feel Pete’s hands grab my hair. He didn’t push my head further in or anything; he just twisted his hands in my hair and god dammit, I could come from just this.

I swirled my tongue around the head of his dick and looked up at him, as he threw his head back in pleasure and accidentally banged it against the concrete wall.

“Fuck, ouch, fuck, it feels so good Mikey” he laughed and moved one of his hands from my hair to feel the spot where he’d hit his head. I giggled, which was really hard without choking when I was jacking off at the same time and there was just a whole lot of things to focus on right now, but I couldn’t help it.

“I’m gonna come, so soon” Pete moaned when he’d gotten a hold of his voice again and I was definitely too. “Fuck, you should, like, move or something”

I debated with myself for a moment whether to move or not, but I decided not to, and Pete came in my mouth with a loud groan and I swallowed most of it though some of it ran down my chin as I sucked him dry and pulled my head back. I wiped it off while I still had my hand in my pants, and I gave myself the last few strokes it took before I shot my own load in my pants while Pete caught his breath, still leaning on the wall. When I’d gotten a hold of my drunk post-orgasm dizziness, I got to my feet and leaned against Pete, putting my face in the crook of his neck.

“Holy fuck Mikey” he smiled and I giggled into his neck. Yeah, holy fuck. He put his arms around me and I turned my face upwards so he could pull me in for a lazy kiss. Then he pulled up his pants and buttoned them up while I still putting most on my weight against him. It was like I was too light-headed to stand up right now and I needed a minute to recover.

It was really comfortable though, just standing there in silence and I had no idea how much time passed, maybe not any more than a couple of minutes, but at one point Brendon entered the room again and I jumped in shock when the door suddenly was opened, and moved away from Pete before it got to me that I didn’t have to because Brendon still didn’t care.

“Guys, you gotta see this” he giggled and as we headed out the door Pete had his hand on my hip. He let go when we came back out into the big hall though, I guess partly because there was people out there and partly because he got startled. I did too, I mean, there was like less than a third of how many people had been there when we left, and I guessed we had definitely been in that room longer than I’d first thought. But that wasn’t the thing about the scenery we’d walked into, it was that the music had changed from the same indifferent pop tunes they always played here, and to some classic rock ballad that I definitely knew but couldn’t really place in my mind. And there was almost no people left on the dancefloor, they’d all retreated to sitting on the wooden boxes with their drinks as the music had changed. But one of the couples on the dancefloor, standing really close and dancing really slow was Frank and Gerard and most of the other people out there were staring at them, too drunk to say anything mean, a couple of them cheering a little or whisteling and I couldn’t help but snort from laughter. They were such fucking dorks and my brother had really gone from being a weirdo living in the basement to a protagonist of an overdramatic love story.

“Oh my god” was all Pete just stated before cracking up in laughter too. “I think I’m gonna go vomit” he laughed and we both headed for the door, while neither Frank nor Gerard noticed anything at all.

‘’’

I had started the next morning by spewing my guts into the toilet while Pete was still passed out in my bed, but after that my day got gradually better. I brushed my teeth, attempted to do something about my hair and gave up, and then I went and woke Pete up. Or I tried, but he just mumbled something that wasn’t really words and turned to the other side.

“Come on, we’ve got to go downstairs” I whined and pulled his arms until he had to face me. “Get up”  
He inhaled deeply and sat up, grimacing as he put a hand to his head and just sat like that for a while.

“Why?” he asked groggily and I laughed. He was still half asleep but got out and started pulling on some clothes.

“I wanna see if Cinderella and her prince are awake so I can mock them about their sugarcoated love life” I explained as we headed out the door and down the stairs. Me first, a lot more eager than Pete who was sulking behind me, looking like someone who would rather still be sleeping.

“Oh yeah, right, Cinderella” he mumbled without sounding like he really knew what I was talking about. We’d gone home from the warehouse yesterday after watching Frank and Gerard dance and I guessed they had gone home a lot later since I had fallen asleep before I heard them enter the house.

When we reached the basement I knocked the door several times, but no one either answered or told us to get lost so I assumed they were still sleeping. I went in and I was right, they were both still unconscious in Gerards bed, luckily both wearing clothes, and I went over and dropped down and the end of the bed, and Pete who now looked a lot more awake and like he knew what was going on, followed.

“Wake up lovebirds” he grinned and poked Frank until he opened his eyes.

“What? What time is it?” Frank just asked, squinting his eyes and looking very displeased.

“Dunno, like noon or something” I said as Gerard seemed to come back to life.  
Frank just sighed. “Your smug expression is unbearable this early on the day”

“I wasn’t the one pretending I was in the middle of a fairytale last night. Did you turn into a pumpkin after midnight or something, lose your shoe?” I smirked and Pete laughed next to me.

“Actually I think I lost both of them, but I went home with the prince” he said and stroked Gerards hair exaggeratedly and Gerard just rolled his eyes.

“By the way, I wanna go to the record store again, I need to talk to Bob Bryar” I informed after a while of silence. I had thought about what he’d been like the last time we were there, and I came to the conclusion that I just needed to straight out ask him if I wanted that job.

“I have to get the car first” Gerard announced and I sighed. We’d left the car parked near the warehouse last night as all of us had been too drunk to drive. Most of the people that didn’t live that close had their cars standing there overnight, so of course it became a place of gossip about last night when everyone came to get their cars.

“Can’t we just take the other car?” I complained thinking about the car Frank and Pete arrived in that were parked outside. I really didn’t feel like waiting until Gerard got himself together to walk all the way to the warehouse and get his own.

“Well, yeah, I can drive you, I found a couple of things there I wanna buy anyways” Frank offered and I nodded.

“Pete you better go with me then, I am not walking all the way over there alone” Gerard threatened and Pete laughed and shrugged.

They got out of bed and put on some clean clothes, and after searching through the kitchen for some sort of breakfast and only finding some dry toast we didn’t want to eat, we headed out. I got in the car with Frank while Gerard and Pete headed down the street. He turned up the car stereo as soon as we’d pulled out of the driveway and we drove in silence most of the way.

“So, apart for our drunken dance, did you and Pete have fun last night” he asked smugly when we turned the corner to the street where the record store was.

“You could say that” I smirked and got out of the car before he could ask about more, but he cornered me before I got to walk into the shop and away from him.

“Not that fast Mikeyway. I wanna know” he said and crossed his arms and I could feel myself blushing. Okay, it was better than if he’d asked while Gerard was there, but it would still be sort of awkward telling him so I just shrugged and grinned.

“Did he go down on you?” Frank asked and I shook my head. “Did you?”  
He cocked his eyebrow at me when I didn’t instantly shake my head, and I blushed.

“You totally did” he laughed and I just shrugged again.

“Maybe” I said and entered the store. “Why do you care” I asked with a smile as he followed me. Bob wasn’t behind the counter so he was probably in the back room, putting old records away or something, so we just walked around the shelves while I waited for him to get back.

“He’s my best friend, man, I have to tease him about it” Frank smiled. “Just be nice to him”

“I am” I said with a frown and my statement sounded more like a question than an answer. I mean, I was nice to him, a lot more than nice actually, like, to a point where I sucked him off and he slept in my bed.

“I know, but I just mean, I think he likes you” Frank said flatly and I didn’t really know how to respond.

“Likes me?” I just ended up asking after a couple of seconds of sort of awkward silence.

“Yeah, like, more than just getting into your pants. I don’t know, he doesn’t do that a lot” Frank explained and I was sort of flattered but also slightly uncomfortable because I didn’t really know what to say. What exactly do you say to stuff like that?

I examined him for a while, until he just made shrugged sort of half-apologetic and continued walking down the aisle we were on. “Just, I don’t know man, be good to him, he’s my best friend” he continued and a slight smile grew on my face. So this was what this was, the whole big brother, be good to him or I’ll kick your teeth in speech, just toned down and a lot friendlier. Frank turned around and looked at me, and looked sort of confused when he saw me smiling.

“What?” he asked and pursed his lips a little.

“You’re a dork. Just be nice to my brother too, he’s head over heels for you” I grinned and Frank couldn’t help but smile too. We stood like that for a moment, giggling at each other when Bob appeared from the back room, carrying a huge box and a cigarette hanging from his mouth. The store had started smelling more and more like the cheap brand of cigarettes he smoked and less like the clean and synthetic smell that most stores has. But I liked it that way.

“Hey girls” he said indifferently when he saw us and I walked over to the counter as Frank went to the back of the store to look for the records he’d talked about buying.

“You know, I talked about needing a job the other day” I started and Bob nodded knowingly. He’d totally gotten every clue I’d dropped about it, but just not said anything about it, jerk. “Do you like, need help in the store or anything?”

“Well yeah, I could use an extra hand in the afternoons” he said with a thoughtful nod. “You up for that?”

I grinned, okay, if I’d known it would be this easy I would’ve just asked him straight away, but the thing was, you never knew with Bob.

“Totally. Cool man, thanks” I said and he just shrugged.

“No problem. So how’s it going, living with the bad porno?” he asked, as I had complained about it the last time we talked.

“Better. A lot actually, one of them likes me” I said and Bob looked over at Frank. “Not him” I said quickly.

“Oh, the tan one with the overwhelming grin who seemed to like attention?” he asked and I nodded, amused by how well he described Pete after only seeing him once, but then again, Pete sort of left an impression pretty fast. “Well, do you like him back?”

“Sort of, I guess. I didn’t really think about that until now. I don’t know” I rambled and Bob laughed his dry laugh that wasn’t really much more than few deep breaths through his nose. “I didn’t even think I was into that until like, less than a week ago”

“But you are?”

“Definitely, or well, when it’s him I am” I said and Bob nodded, taking a deep drag of his cigarette.

“Then you probably like him”

“Yeah. But he’s 18 and from New York and has a lot of guy sex and he’s in a band and I’m just-“ I started with a sigh but Bob cut me off.

“16 and from Belleville and has guy sex all of sudden and just got a job in a record store?”

“Yeah” I said, looking at him with a frown.

“But he likes you?”

“I guess”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know. I’m just a little surprised. I just though he wanted to get into my pants” I said and sighed again.

“So he did, and now he wants more” Bob answered and I didn’t get to think of something in response because Frank approached us with a handful of CD’s, placing them upon the desk and Bob started pressing buttons on the cash register.

“I’ll count on seeing you here Monday afternoon, somewhere before 3” he told me as Frank had paid and we headed for the door.

“Sure thing, and thanks again” I said, partly for the job and partly for the talk and I was sure Bob knew that. He knew a lot of things, and made a lot of other things less complicated. He didn’t bullshit anything and I liked that about him, especially when he was going to be my boss.

“He’s a strange one, Bob Bryar” Frank said when we’d gotten in the car and headed home.

“Nah, he’s cool” I said with a nod. “What’d you buy anyways?”

I looked through the records he’d bought that he’d placed on the dashboard.

“One with Black Flag that I’d never really gotten around to buying and some other stuff I just found that looked cool” he said and I put on the CD he’d mentioned first.  
We both nodded along as we drove, and when we got home, Gerard and Pete still weren’t back, but then again it was a long walk to the warehouse and Gerard wasn’t exactly fast when it came from moving from one place to another via his legs.

Me and Frank settled in the basement where I turned on the game controller and we actually only meant to take a couple of rounds, but a couple turned to 10 and then 20 and suddenly an hour had passed and we heard the door slam upstairs. Okay, I knew Gerard walked slowly and it was far but that had taken a god damn long time for them to get that car. We heard steps approach us and when the door opened Pete came bouncing in and Gerard followed him with four pizza boxes balancing in one hand while he was searching for his cigarettes with the other.

“Oh my god I fucking love you guys” Frank stated and almost jumped at Gerard and grabbed some of the boxes and put them on the floor. “So that’s why it took so long”

“Yeah, we figured that neither of us were going to cook ourselves, and we needed some sort of breakfast or lunch or whatever” Pete explained as he dumped himself on the floor next to me and grabbed a box. He let his fingers run over my thigh as I leaned over to grab another one of the boxes, discreetly without Frank or Gerard noticing as they were busy getting their own food. I grinned at him as he leaned in and whispered “I still owe you for yesterday” and then he sort of left he hanging by not mentioning it again, and I was sort of disappointed but at the same time filled with anticipation because, holy shit, he just knew how to do that to me.

And after he’d said that it was like the rest of the day couldn’t pass any slower and then again suddenly it was 2 am, and I was half-lying on the floor leaning on the bed and Pete was slouched between my legs with his head resting on my chest as we didn’t really pay attention to the movie that was playing. Frank and Gerard were sitting on the bed and I highly doubted they were paying any more attention to the screen than we were, and I didn’t bother turning around to look.

I kept running my hands through his hair and playing with it and sometimes he made these small purring noises and I couldn’t help but smile. I would really love to let my hands wander a little more, but I wasn’t going to do it with the two others in the room. So it was kind of a salvation when the credits started running over the screen and I could lean in and quietly ask Pete if he wanted to go to bed. He nodded eagerly and I could almost feel his smirk in the darkness.

“We’re gonna head upstairs” I announced Frank and Gerard, and it was too dark in his room to actually see more than a blurry outline of them, but from what I could tell they were hunched together, tangled in Gerards comforter, moving around a little and couldn’t care less if we headed upstairs or outside or to the fucking airport for that matter, as long as we left them alone.

“G’night” Pete mumbled to them when he closed the door after us and there was a low mumbling in response and that was it, and we were on our own again. And it wasn’t like my anticipation had shrunk as the hours had passed and there had also just built up a lot of sexual tension from being this close to Pete all day, lying around watching movies and sort of cuddling discreetly, without being able to touch properly. I walked first up the stairs and I felt his hand slip into the back pocket of my jeans and it fit really well, so he kept it there the whole way up while I sometimes reached back and stroked his wrist, just feeling his skin with my fingertips and I was so fucking excited about whatever we were on our way up doing. I was just so into Pete, I was so gay for him to say the least that I didn’t even care what he was going to do when we got up there, just the fact that he were going to do something and I was going to touch him and kiss him and take his clothes off made me need to take a few deep breaths and walk a little faster.

Pete slammed the door shut with his foot when we’d stumbled inside and pushed me backwards so my knees hit the edge of the bed and I fell onto it with a smirk, my feet hanging off the edge, and it went really fast and suddenly I was lying down and he was standing over me and this was possibly my favorite angle of him, oh god. I vaguely recalled something about him laughing because he’d called me rough and I grinned up at him. “A little rough?” I asked and he cocked his eyebrow.

“Whatever you want” he growled and leaned down over me, placing himself between my legs and planting wet kisses all the way up my jaw until he reached my chin and then aimed for my mouth. It was rushed and all tongue and teeth and we bumped our noses together, but it felt like a mix of something I had gotten used to by now and something that was still completely new and experimenting and I swore it was the best fucking thing I’d ever tried in my life.

I could feel Pete tugging hard on the hem of my jeans and he was sort of aggressive right now and that was really hot too and maybe it was because I felt like I was on that stage of being horny where no matter what he did or said it would be a major turn on for me.

I cupped his head in my hands and tried to pull him even closer and kiss him deeper, but after he let his hands roam over my torso for a moment, he broke the kiss to pull my shirt over my head and throw it somewhere behind us. It didn’t go as smooth as any of us planned and both my glasses and my hair got messed up on the way, so it ended up with me just taking the glasses off and putting them on the nightstand before returning my attention to Pete.

My vision got a little more blurry now and Pete’s face got a little unclear, but it didn’t affect the way I felt Pete weighing down on me and the way I felt his crotch against mine and his tongue licking into my mouth and the way I felt like I was going to explode because Pete was right here on top of me and he was going to get naked and he was going to do things to me.

He sat up for a second and pulled off his own shirt before leaning back down and kissing me wantonly. He let his hand pin both of mine above my head as his other hand worked with my belt buckle. Unlike the shirt, he was incredibly sleight about this and I couldn’t help but wonder how many times he’d done this before. A lot, according to Frank, and much more according to Pete himself, but I pushed the thought away when he got my belt open and stuck his hand down my pants, because then it struck me that Pete had never actually touched me like that before, we’d only like, been touching with our clothes on and then I’d sucked him off last night, but woah this was a feeling I’d like some more of.

His hand were soft and cool and I shivered when he wrapped it around my dick, stroking it slowly and I couldn’t keep in a half-loud moan that slipped into the kiss, and Pete smiled at me. “Fuck” I just panted and bit my lip while Pete kept grinning as he jerked me off.

But at some point I got impatient and I reached down to unbutton Petes pants and he stopped moving his hand while I worked, and when I’d gotten them somewhat down his to his thighs, he stood up and pulled them off, while I made a whining noise from the lack of contact as I suddenly felt a little cold.

He smirked at me when he’d gotten his own jeans off and kneeled down to get mine off too, slowly pulling on one leg at a time, kissing my thighs when he was done while I was going crazy above him. Then he slid off my boxers and worked closer to my dick with his mouth, but moved away before he actually touched it, and I whimpered. He was such a tease, but on the other hand he started to pull down his own boxers now and I had really been waiting for that the entire god damn day. Like, I really felt I hadn’t appreciated it enough the first couple of times he’d been casually naked around me, but then again it sort of made up for it when he stood completely dressed off in front of me, giving me a quick smirk before climbing back onto me.

“It’s my turn trying something now” he panted and I just nodded. Fuck, whatever, I just wanted like, everything to happen already. He leaned down, kissing me fast before sitting back up, straddling my thighs so his dick slipped against mine a couple of times and I was overwhelmed with all these feelings from when his mouth or his hands or his dick touched mine and this was totally like having sex for the first time again except it was much, much better.

He slipped a couple of fingers in his mouth and started sucking them and I just laid back and watched while he met my eyes and smirked. My hands were still above my head from when he’d pinned them there but at some point I reached out and let them run over his torso, from his collarbones to his nipples to his belly button and back up to his shoulders, and his skin was warm even though his hands had been cold and he just sat there, sucking his fingers and there was so many things about him that I needed to look at and touch.

I still had my hands on him when he took the fingers from his mouth and reached down his own back, but I didn’t really focus on what my hands did because I was so busy looking, he was totally putting on a show for me, staring me intensely in the eyes the whole time and it was totally working because this was the hottest fucking thing I’d ever witnessed and I definitely knew where this was going and I loved it.

His jaw dropped open when he pushed into himself, his eyed widened a little and then squinted and I felt like I could come from just watching this. He sat like that for a while, and I couldn’t see how many fingers he had in himself, but watching his face was also totally okay because his expression, oh god, and the small whimpering noises he made, it was all driving me mad in a very, very good way.

After a while he was done and pulled his fingers out and he was still smiling at me and I wasn’t really sure if he expected me to do something, so I didn’t. He looked like he was thinking though. “D’you, uh, have any-“ he stared but I got what he meant and cut him off.

“Drawer. In the nightstand” I explained, stumbling a little on the words. I was so eager and so was he because he almost fell off me when he reached over to the nightstand and got out a condom and a bottle of lotion.

He slipped it on me and got some lotion in his hand and I was still just lying there, since I had sort of gotten the point of him wanting to have control here, because I was totally okay with that since he knew exactly what he was doing and I only had kind of an idea. He stroked me a couple of times and I was already embarrassingly close though I really wanted everything about this to last as long as possible.

“Ready?” he panted and pushed himself further up my body.

“Fuck” I just said because I wasn’t really aware of what came out of my mouth, it didn’t really matter to me right now, I mean, he was going to let me fuck him and fuck yeah I was fucking ready. But as I looked up at him, he raised his eyebrow as if questioning me. “Yes, fuck yes” I said to make myself more clear and he smiled at me again. He was so confident like this and it wasn’t because I was totally insecure or anything, but I just felt sort of exposed right now and it probably didn’t bother him that I’d never done this before, but I was just startled with how smooth he made it all go. Like, there was nothing here there was awkward or dumb, and even if it was he made it seem like it didn’t matter at all.

And then he grabbed my dick and lowered himself onto it and every other thought of being exposed or slightly nervous sort of faded out because holy fucking shit. It was really slow and he was tight and it was Pete and my dick was inside him and I think I forgot to breathe for a second, because his jaw dropped open in pleasure again but this time a long moan also escaped him and it was really fucking loud and I sort of got what he’d meant when he’d said Frank was tired of him being loud at night.

When he’d gotten me all the way in, he started rocking back and forth, moving himself up and down again and I twisted my fingers in the bedsheet and I was split between wanting to throw my head back and wanting to get up and lean on my elbows so I could watch Petes every move, because fuck, I wanted to remember this. I could also feel in my stomach and in my dick that this wasn’t going to last particularly long, and as sad as that sounded to me right now, I remembered that we could do this again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that, and then it was sort of okay.

Pete placed his hands on my chest and leaned on them a bit while moving, and the noises he made, it was even better than when I blew him and it was so fucking loud. I couldn’t keep in a slight giggle as it struck me that Frank and Gerard could hear absolutely everything in the basement and Pete sat still for a second. “What?” he asked with a grin.

“You’re really loud” I just panted and remembered I weren’t doing anything particular with my hands and reached up to slide them from his shoulders and down to his elbows and back again a few times.

“Told you” he smirked and started riding me again and this time I slid my hand down to his cock and started jacking him. He whined and started moving a little faster, in sync to my hand and I could feel the orgasm curl in my stomach.

“Fuck, I’m so close” I moaned and I was probably getting a little loud too, but whatever, this was the best fucking sex I’d ever had, and Pete leaned down over me, pressing his forehead against mine before kissing me, or trying to but just sort of ending up exchanging breaths with me and moaning into each others mouths while I moved my hands from his dick to his hips where I grabbed them hard and moved with him as far as I could. “So close, Pete, fuck”

“Then come for me” he purred into my ear and that was fucking it. I couldn’t help but let my head fall back as I came and it was like seeing stars or something, holy shit, and Pete rode me out all the way before sliding off me. When I’d caught my breath and felt like I could open my eyes again, I remembered Pete hadn’t gotten off yet and I reached down to touch him again.

“Fuck, Mikey” he moaned as I quickened my pace. I was dizzy and not completely sure of what I was doing to him, but it was okay because shortly after he came on my chest and stomach, and collapsed on top of me, and his own semen for that matter, and caught his breath before kissing me sloppily and rolling off me.

“That was, woah” I said sort of breathlessly and cupped his chin before kissing him again. I didn’t really know what word I was looking for to describe what had just happened, and I wasn’t going to dwell more on it, I was already getting tired as I usually did when I’d just had a huge orgasm.  
Pete looked at me intensely, and for a second I thought he was going to say something, but he didn’t. He just grinned at me and reached over to the nightstand to turn off the lights.

‘’’

It had stopped raining, though the world was still gray and wet and depressing but I was grinning widely, like I-just-got-laid-wide, as me and Gerard sat on the porch with each our cigarette, watching the clouds roll away from Belleville and down south. I took a drag of the cigarette my brother had given me, apparently he’d finally accepted the fact that I’d started smoking again for whatever reason, and he watched my smile with a cocked eyebrow.

“You could’ve kept it down just a little” he said and I shrugged.

“But we didn’t. Like you’re the one to talk anyways” I grinned. The smile hadn’t faded from my face all day, and Frank and Gerard had sent us half-sarcastic dirty looks the entire morning. “He likes me”

“Did he tell you that?” Gerard asked, tilting his head before leaning it back against the wall we were sitting against.

“Frank did. I don’t think Pete’s going to” I replied honestly. The two bandmates were inside, watching the last half hour of a movie. Gerard had thought it was boring so I’d offered to go outside with him for a smoke as long as I could get one from him, and it struck me it was a long time since I’d been alone with him, considering we lived under the same roof again, and I’d missed it a bit.

“I would be unlike him too” Gerard said, looking like he was in deep thought. But then again, Gerard often looked like he was in deep thought, he was probably always in deep thought, rarely really being aware of his environment.

“I guess I prefer it that way, it would be weird if he became all… You-ish” I laughed and Gerard punched me lightly before rolling his eyes. I was never going to forget that fairytale-dance they’d had in the warehouse, I was going to mock him forever about it.

“Y’know, even though you’re a little shit, I have room for you if you wanna come up and stay for a weekend or something, like, when school starts again or something. We could go to one of their shows” he offered and I grinned even wider if possible. “If you’re not too busy stacking boxes for Bob”

“Yeah because there’s so many people in Belleville there are cultural enough to buy records” I snapped sarcastically. There was only accurately enough so that the record store kept open and there were work enough for two people “But it’d be cool, going to NY, I guess” I smiled and it was more than fucking cool. I wasn’t one to admit it but I was going to miss them so fucking much when they went back to New York, all of them.

I wasn’t going to think about that right now though, there was still a week or so left, and it was like the days had passed really fast, and it was funny to think how I’d been sure they would be the longest of my life before they began and I’d been sure Frank and Pete were idiots and I hadn’t really considered the fact that they were some of my brothers closest friends and he really didn’t befriend idiots.

Well, I had considered Pete sort of an idiot the first while, but as I’d assumed shortly after, he totally grew on me. And not just because we happened to fuck now, but I had started enjoying being around him and listen to his endless rambles about whatever, and I supposed I was going to miss him when he left, the same way I missed Belleville and it’s annoying quietness whenever I was away from here.

“Wanna go back inside and see if the movie’s done?” Gerard asked after a while, and I put out the cigarettes on the wooden porch and got up.

“Sure” I smiled and reached for the door.


End file.
